Know your secrets

Chapter Thirty Five: You ain't lucky but you are

Looking out of my window , I imagined all sorts of things inside my head. Him, as always, screaming at me. Saying it's all my fault, blaming me for wanting to look for Fawcett. I sighed, getting ready for the mental abuse that was probably coming my way. 

I knew Sawyer, and I wish he was that cliche softie underneath all of his harshness. But the truth is, he'll never stop , that's simply the way he is. And I am drawn to his destructive personality, sucking all the poison he throws my way and returning the favor. Matter of fact, I think we're toxic for eachother.

" Heather? " Nicky continuously waved her hand in front of me. 

" Do't ever do that again. It's scary. " She giggled.

" I wanna see him but I can't face him guys. " I said letting my forehead land on the notebook in front of me. 

" You're just being dramatic, it'll be fine. " Audrey's voice was blunt, she kept looking at her nails. Showing more concern about them than me.

" What happened with you and Logan anyway? " I asked.

" I broke up with him, once all of this is past us, I think i'll move on to Zeo, he's cute. " She said, still that blunt look covering her face.

Me and Nic looked at eachother , knowing that she must be freaking out super badly to be putting this much effort into looking this calm. Huh, who knew Audrey Nagawa had a soul after all. 

I dragged my body to the courtyard, muting everyone's conversations. I just got into Logan's car and waited to face him. I had no idea what to expect. We drove for a good 20 minutes before stopping outside a small park. I could feel my breath shorten as my eyes were all around , searching for...

I sighed.

It was him. In a white shirt and a brown jacket, with that unbreakable smile of his. We all froze, suddenly nobody knew what to say or act. He was there. Alive. And that's the moment I realized that that was the only thing that mattered. Even if he blamed me for everything, he was there.

" You fuckers look like you've seen a ghost. " He chuckled juggling a cigarette with his lips.

" My man. " Zeo ran in a melodramatic way, hugging Sawyer like he's never hugged no woman before. " I always knew you were gay. " Sawyer pat him on the back while Zeo cried like a baby.

" The rest of you just gonna stand there? " 

And so, we all made our way to this loveable asshole still standing. Hugging and laughing, sharing a couple of beers from his truck. For the first time, we weren't concerned about Fay and Stacey or any other drama. We were happy, we were free. Sharing our stories and strengthening our bond. I looked around, Logan was trying to juggle 3 cans of beer , Nic and Audrey were laughing at their heels stuck to the muddy ground, and Zeo was holding on to Sawyer like a baby.

I smiled at the thought of us so united, and suddenly his eyes looked at me. " I know you missed  me but you're making it painfully obvious. " He stated.

I hid behind a gulp of beer, bying myself some time. " I'm sorry " I mouthed.

He laughed and turned away, but his eyes were not mad, I could tell. 

Strange.

I looked around as it was getting darker. The image of the dark woods struck in my head and I immediately shivered, " We should go. " I quickly got up, gathering my things like a maniac.

" Woah,woah,woah not so fast. " Said Sawyer trying to shake drunk Zeo off his arm.

" I gathered you all here for a reason. You see, being surrounded by detectives has it's perks. " He said catching everyone's attention.

" Apparently Fawcett is not the only crazy one. " He smirked. " It runs in the family. But of course the Jones paid off everyone in their way. " 

I gasped. 

" Guys do you know what that proves? " Logan jumped off his seat. " This proves her mental breakdown wasn't our fault! It was already in her genes! " He cupped his face in excitement.

" Not quite right Loganito but yeah it's surely an upgrade. " said Sawyer jumping in his truck. " Hey, Heather do you want a ride? " he asked.

I stood there shocked for half a second before Nicky elbowed me hysterically. 

" Uh, sure. " I doubtfully said.

I looked behind me to make sure I was making the right decision. I saw Audrey whispering for me to go , and giving her a smile I turned to face my dreammare, it's a dream and a nightmare, basically Sawyer in a nutshell.

We quietly got in the car, I was trying to focus on everything else inside the car but Sawyer. The leather seats, the cold atmosphere , the scented tree hanging from the mirror, Yes, I was trying to keep myself busy. 

He was a nutcase.

I could see him wear his half crooked smile , as if everything was great. 

" Deja Vu? " He looked at me.

I sighed. " Wasn't thinking of it till you said it. " I stated, still looking at the dangling scented tree.

" Hey if you're worried about the other night, " he paused. " I knew it wasn't you anyway. That thought never even crossed my mind dollface, so you can find your inner peace and please collect yourself cause you can't even look me in the eye. " He said while, ironically, looking me in the eye.

And just then, all of my worries were lifted, it's like he freed my soul and spirit. 

" Hey, can you do me a favor? " I asked with a soft smile on my face. 

" I'm listening. " he said focusing on the road.

" Spend the night with me, I don't wanna be alone.  " This time I looked him in the eye as his surprised gaze fell on me. 

He chuckled.

 " Uh, you caught me a little bit off guard. " he placed his hand on the back of his head. 

" So what do you say? " I asked him again while we were getting closer.

He looked to his right, almost as if he was debating the pros and cons of staying in with me. Agitated, but his movements were still very well thought , he wasn't nervous but he wasn't calm either. 

We stayed silent for the rest of the drive, almost as if I threw him off track from his initial plan. And as we got closer, the trees dissappeared and our surroundings started to get more and more familiar, finally revealing my house. 

Ah, maybe I fucked up. We're here and he still hasn't said a word. 

" So. " he smiled opening his door. " You're gonna have to find a way to sneak me in. " he said with a cheerful smile on his face.

I laughed hopping out of the car.  

" Come on, let's sneak good old you inside my room. " 

A/N: Merry Christmas everyoneee! It's that wonderful time of the year where everyone gets fat/drunk <3 Hope you all have health,happiness and love in your lives. Aand of course VOTE/COMMENT if you liked the chapter. 

Peace, Love, Turkey in your stove hihi . 

Roxy M.