Reinvent Love

home

Me and Addy got dried off and out of our bathing suits. I changed into some warm clothes. 2 hours until I had to leave. I don't want to go home, I don't want to go home, I don't want to go home, I kept repeating to myself.

The time passed quickly, too quickly. I got my suitcase down from the loft and said my goodbyes to Adiline. I felt an anxiety attack coming on. Just the thought of being home made me want to curl up into a ball and cry so hard I was in pain. 

"I'm gonna miss you Adiline"

"Same goes here Ruby"

We hugged each other tightly. Addy pulled away and we shared a kiss, smiling into it. I knew that was only a smile of reasurrance, neither of us were happy and it was obvious I was having an anxiety attack or something along those lines. "See you soon, remember to facetime me as soon as you can!" Addy said I as I closed the door.

"I will"

I got out of the apartment building and onto the sidewalk. The Uber I got would be arriving soon. When they got there I hopped in the backseat. I watched as the home I had come to love and the person in it got smaller and smaller as the car moved on. I don't want to go home, I don't want to go home, I don't want to go home, Those 6 words never stopped repeating in my head.The Uber dropped me off at the entrance to the subway. I payed them and headed down.

I took out my metro card and got in to the main subway part. The one I had to take should be here in about 10 minutes. Soon it came and I hopped on.  Ok so i have to wait till the third stop to get off and then I get on the other train, I thought to myself. I sat down and started to play on my phone. The time went by quick and soon I was On the bigger train that would take me back to my home. From there one of my cousins would pick me up and bring me to my house.

~ ( Text pov)

Ruby♦️- Hey i'm very bored
Addy❄️- Hello
Ruby♦️-Are you still at the apartment?
Addy❄️- No i just got on the train
Ruby♦️-same
Ruby♦️- 2 hours till I reach hell
Addy❄️-Ruby don't think about it that way, i'm gonna try to make it better
Ruby♦️-If only you experienced it
Addy❄️-It's only a week, just remember that
Ruby♦️-I know but still
Addy❄️- It's gonna be fine, just eat some turkey and think about when you get to go back
Ruby♦️- I can try
Addy❄️-Just remember the entire time i'm going to have to explain to my grandma that no i do not like boys and i am never going to get a boyfriend🙄
Ruby♦️- I'm just gonna have to pretend i'm straight, ugh, it disgusts me just to think about it 😑
Ruby♦️-Addy?
Ruby♦️-where'd you go 😐
Ruby♦️-ok bye then...

I started to worry. did I do something wrong? You see, this is how anxiety gets the best of me, I overthink things way too much. I'm in such a bad state right now and being alone doesn't help. I felt empty, nothing was there but worry and dread. Every loud sound hit me like shards of glass. They made me feel worse and worse. Just Addy not replying has me on edge. It was so stupid, Addy has a life and other things going on and I'm expecting her to be there for me 24/7. But, its ok to care about her well being. That's kinda what I'm doing, right? I ran the worst scenerios over in my head. What if her train crashed? What if there was a gun breakout? I had to stop thinking. Like tht ever happened. I held myslef tightly as fear I would collapse right then and there. My frail body couldn't withstand the thoughts and the glass shards pining me down. I leaned against the window and tried to keep the tears in my face. For th e most part I was succesful.About an hour later Addy responded, reliving me of a tiny bit of worry. 

Addy❄️-Hey sorry I fell asleep
Ruby♦️-Jesus i was getting scared
Addy❄️-i'm fine don't worry but i gtg my stop is coming soon
Ruby♦️- ok bye remember to call me later
Addy❄️-ok bye