Arranged To be Malik

chapter 19

Zayn's POV:

when Rawan didn't pick up my phones I became very worried,I thought something bad happened to her, believe me I thought I should have searched for her but again I didn't know which way did she ran, and at this point I cried because I don't know what should I have done?

when she returned back,I cried harder,but it all came happy tears because she is fine now in my arms, happy because nothing bad happened to her , happy because she didn't run away like Perrie did, yeah I know I am an ass because I compared her to Perrie ,and I am an ass because I am the one who make her thinks that about herself, I don't know what came to me to say things like that to her, and I know , hell I am sure she is better than Perrie, if I did that to Perrie , she would make drama and leave me.

when Rawan took my face between her soft hands and when she started touching my hands and cleaning them , I feel sparks fly, butterflies in my whole body , and that's the point , I have never felt like that with anyone , even when I was with Perrie.

when she pleaded me to not do that to myself again , her words made my heart warm , her eyes were sad so I promised her I won't do that again to myself , I made a promise to myself that I will never do that to someone as beautiful as her.

But when I saw her hands I couldn't believe myself , I didn't imagine she would cut herself when she was sad or upset , I know the world is against her , and she needs someone to talk to , and instead to listen to her and calm her down, I slapped her, hard , I couldn't control myself when I saw her soft hands covered in dry blood , so I started shouting and screaming at her again , I know she did that because of me but I am to blind to see, and when I asked her did she do that because of me , she started shouting and shaking her whole body which shock me a lot , if I didn't catch her in time she would fall and broke down , I ran to her quickly and hugged her hard and tight , and let me tell you somethig, it's the best hug I have ever had, even when I was with Perrie I didn't hug her like that , she didn't make me feel loved like Rawan is.

I made Rawan to set between my legs and started cleaning her hands , while she was closing her eyes a little , she looks beautiful so much , I don't know why am I late to realize it which is was true , Rawan is very beautiful and she will never know that , she tells me always she is fat , ugly and somethings like that which are lies.

I want her to know that she is very beautiful , and I will make it , I will make her feel beautiful everyday , all day all night,and that's the final , that is a promise and I will try not to break it this time.

AND LET ME TELL YOU ANOTHER SOMETHING ,she looked hot and sexy while moaning my name , I wanted to take her , I wanted to be her first time , I wanted to be her first kiss , I wanted to be her first for everything and anything, I want to be the shoulder to cry on , I want my hugs to make her feels safe , I want to be her rock , I want to be her everything , I want to be her love.

ZAYN, ARE YOU CRAZY, OF COURSE SHE WON'T LOVE ME.

but she did tell me that she sometimes feels we are more than friends , maybe it's a sign but I am not sure.

I made sure to kiss her cuts to show her that I care a lot about her and nothing bad will happen to her as I am with her.

I woke up feeling weird, I felt like something bad will happen to Rawan, I feel like I should be with her but I am sure she won't agreed to come the studio with me and the boys, so I won't try with her, I will make sure she will have a safe travel with Adam to Bradford and as soon as I am out of the studio I will travel to them hopefully I won't stay late.

I went to Rawan's bedroom to wake her up too not to be late,I open the door seeing Rawan is sleeping like an angel , I watch her a little and go to her bed,I started playing with her soft black long hair , putting her hair a side , then started shaking her a little, she graoned a little and turned her head to the other side while mumbling " let me sleep", I chuckled a little , thanks God she and Adam are like me.