Arranged To be Malik

Chapter 48

Rawan's POV:

No matter what I am doing to forget about what happened with Zayn, I will never be able to forget. I am hurting the both of us, but he still pushes my buttons to make me explode in front of him, it's not healthy. Not at all.

We both are stubborn as hell, that's why everything is difficult between us, but at the same time, we want the same thing, we want love. We want each other. He wants me to be in his life, he wants me to be the mother of Adam and maybe the mother of another baby when we step another step in our relationship. And believe me, I want the same thing, but it's so hard when I fear of being lied to and cheated on again. These issues are eating me alive and I can't stop them without any help from my husband.

The thing is Adam's birthday is coming soon, which means I have to spend at least his day with him, and because my luck is so damn perfect, Zayn will also have to stay with us, it's his son's birthday after all.

I don't want to reject Adam, I love him so much and I don't want to be so harsh on him. In addition to, I don't want to isolate myself from Adam because of Zayn's sin, he is child after all and I don't want him to think something bad will happen with his family again, enough is enough.

" Rawan!" My mother's sweet voice breaks my train of thoughts, making my head snap to her direction.

" Yes, mother!" I reply softly, not wanting to talk at this moment to be honest, I just want some space with me and myself, that's all.

" Are you free? I want to talk to you"

" You have my ears" I know she is going to talk about my marriage problem, I don't want to seem like I am rude, but I don't want to discuss anything with anyone, even with Zayn himself.

" I feel like I oppressed you by forcing you to marry to Zayn" She confirms me. Again, I feel in silence, I don't want her to beat herself up because of this, but all of us know the truth, I wasn't supposed to marry Zayn, it was wrong from my family and also from his.

" I know something happened between you two, and I also know the problem is huge to make you too sad to even speak to anyone" She speaks softly while rubbing my back gently. My mother isn't a bad person, she is the most perfect woman I have ever known, Jack brain washed her, that's why the last period was rough on her and me.

" Can I ask you something?" I question her, she nods at me, encouraging me to open up a little in front of her.

" Did you love my father?"

" I still do love him with everything in me, even after his death" I can only hear truth from her voice and nothing else.

" If he had done something wrong to you, like cheating on or lying to you, would you have forgiven him?" I ask, wanting to hear her advice, maybe it will give me the right decision to make.

" If he hadn't meant it, and he had been so sorry, I would have without a second choice" Her answer only makes me feel worse than before. When she notices my silence, she adds, " When someone loves so much, they will do anything to keep their love strong"

" I love him so much, mum" That's when I break down in front of her, she is quick to hold me in her arms and rub my back to calm me down.

" Shh! I know sweetie, I know you love him" She whispers in my hair. I keep on crying in her lap, and she does nothing but comforting me.

" Whatever he did to you, you have to forgive him, I can see from his eyes that he loves you to death but you push him every time he tries to apologize!" She advised me.

" But he hurt me deeply" Angry tears start to show in my eyes and I quickly try to wipe them away.

" Even though, he apologized so many times! But if you don't want to live with him anymore, I can talk to him about it and about your divorce"