I have reached a certain level of doneness

You must be new

I'll look at the comments on fanfics, and then there's that one person:

'Why is everyone commenting this, there are more important matters that could be commented!'

My mind: You must be new.

Me: I HAVE DISCOVERED THIS SHIT YESTERDAY!

But, I know how people's minds work, so, even though I'm new to the fandom, I'm not new to idiotic people making dirty jokes when the main character may or may not be getting kidnapped by their psycho boyfriend.