Seasons of Love || Richard Camacho

22

May 3rd

'Tiff, maybe you should just tell them.' Everybody looks at Katarina like she just said something to a ghost. I nod. 'Summer is not my real name.' They all look confused. 'Autumn?' Richard guesses. I shake my head. 'It's Tiffany.' 'Ah now I get it!' Everybody is waiting for Isa to explain herself. 'The first time I saw you, Kat told me we were going to visit Tiffany, her old best friend. But then later that night, everybody else called you Summer and Kat didn't call you anything, so I thought Kat changed her mind and we didn't visit Tiffany after all.' Kat sighs and I chuckle. 'But why all the different names?' Joel asks, still confused. I look at Kat, she nods. And so my stupid secret about my stupid job and my stupid lifestyle is not a secret anymore. 'So, if I'm correct, you tell them the name of the season, so you can keep track of when you've met them?' 'Kinda, it was a joke when I started telling people my name was Summer. And then I thought it could come in handy one day.' Honestly, it was the most stupid idea ever. But when I made that decision, Seasons of Love from the musical Rent was my favorite song and I thought it would be nice, a new name every few months. But most people find Spring a silly name. Dutch people find it funny, as "spring" means "jump" in Dutch. Oh well. 'So you get paid for keeping people company?' Zabdi asks. I nod. All the boys start talking at the same time and I can't really understand what they're saying. 'STOP TALKING SPANISH, POR FAVOR.' I yell. 'We we're just saying that that's quite a nice job.' 'So are you like, a prostitute?' Kat slaps Erick against the back of his head. 'No you moron, how many times does she has to explain that she doesn't have sex for money.' 'Lo siento, lo siento.' 'It's okay Erick, I understand that it might be confusing. I never really expected that I would ever have to explain it to anyone, honestly.' The boys nod. Katarina fixes my make-up and I smile. 'Thanks for being so nice to me. I am so sorry for lying.' After a little while everyone, except for me and Richard, goes back inside. 'Want to go for a walk?' I nod and take his hand.

'So... Tiffany.' 'Jep. That's my name.' 'I like it, it suits you.' 'Thanks Rick.' He stops and glares at me. 'It's Richard.' 'I know, I just like it when I frustrate you.' He shakes his head and starts tickling me. 'Don't.' I want to say mean things, but I can't stop laughing. I run away from him and of course he chases me and he catches up after a few seconds. He wraps his arms around my waist from behind, lifts me up and spins me around. When we finally stand still, he hugs me and I lean my head back against his shoulder. His hands rest on my stomach and I intertwine our fingers. 'I am happy that you feel comfortable enough to tell us your secrets.' 'It's not really like I had a choice.' 'But still.' I feel his cheek against mine and all of a sudden I notice that nasty feeling in my tummy and I can feel it nestle itself in my stomach and I want to throw up. Some people call them "butterflies", I call them "stinging fucking asshole bees". Apparently Richard can feel that I am uncomfortable, because he turns me around in his arms. He brushes a strand of hair out of my face and caresses my cheekbone with his thumb while cupping my face. We stare in each other's eyes and the bees go crazy. Oh fuck no. This is way too cliché. He looks at my lips and then back to my eyes. No. He is leaning in. Please no. He is closing his eyes. 'Richard please.' I turn my cheek and a bee dies. Richard rests his forehead against the side of mine. 'I like you, Tiffany. I'm sorry, but I do. And sometimes I get the feeling that you might like me too.' 'I don't like people, Richard. That's something I don't do anymore.' I free myself from his arms and kiss his cheek. 'You are wonderful, really. But you deserve someone way better.' And then I run back to the hotel. Afraid of Richard, afraid of everything. I can't face the girls right now. I can't face anyone right now. I just want to sleep.