Seasons of Love || Richard Camacho

53

May 24th

TIFFANY POV

'We were sitting in the car. Everything was perfect. The sun was shining, we had an amazing day and the radio was playing nice songs. When Purple Rain came on, my parents started screaming along, holding each other's hands. I could only sing along to the chorus, but it was great.' I stare at the ceiling, Joel's fingers draw patterns on my belly. 'When we got home, I decided that that song was my happy song. Whatever life would throw at me, that song would make me feel safe. I thought it would be nice to play it again and right at that moment, my mother started to scream. My father's mistress was waiting for him in my parents' bedroom. She was thrown out by my mother while Prince was still singing about Purple Rain.' 

A soft finger wipes a tear from my face. 'I am so sorry Tiffany. But thank you so much for telling me. It means a lot.' I smile at him and press my lips against his for a few seconds. When am I going to tell him that we can't keep doing this? Kissing him is nice, but it's something I shouldn't be doing. I don't even know what he feels. I have tried to protect my own heart for years and I don't want to break one just because I fucked shit up for myself. And definitely not Joel's, because this boy is just way too sweet.

Joel's phone rings. 'It's Richard.' 'Put it on speaker.' He does. It's crazy to hear his voice again. I want to tell him that I hear him and that I miss him. Damn, I miss him. He starts asking questions about where Joel saw me. And Joel is a great actor. He improvises and tells an amazing story and I start to believe him. I hope Richard does as well. 

'What the fuck do you think you're doing, Joel?' What the... 'Are you with her right now? Tiffany are you there?' My throat makes a squeaking sound and I try to breathe, but I can't. 'Rich...' And he ends the call. Joel starts to apologise, I shut him up. 'Get dressed. Make sure there is no proof that we've slept in the same bed. Shower. Now.' He doesn't say anything and does as I say. I get dressed and make my bed. Quickly, I try to clean the living room and I put a blanket and a pillow on the couch. Making it look like someone has slept there. 

Just as Joel finishes tying his shoelaces, there's a knock on the door. Fuck, I am so nervous. Kill me. When I open the door, I can't look up at him. Knowing that I will smile at him and probably hug him. 'Look at me.' And I do and I hate myself. There are tears in his eyes and I just don't know what to say. He wraps his arms around me and I cry. I cry like a baby. After a few minutes, he lets go of me and we sit down on the couch. Joel sits down on a chair and I can see that he's feeling the awkward. 

Richard doesn't say anything about me disappearing. He tells me about the bet. How it was more of a joke and that he really loves me very much. About how horrible it was to keep it a secret from me, worried that it would ever come out. Like it did. It did came out and I am not sure how to feel. So after he's done talking, it's silent. I don't know what to say. Am I going to tell him about Joel? About how many guys I've fucked in the past couple of days? Should I say anything?

'I am sorry for not telling you, Richard. She felt horrible about me finding her. I wanted to give her time to prepare to see everyone.' Joel sounds sad. Why? Was he planning on staying in my flat forever? Keeping this little thing between these walls and never see anyone else ever again? Richard tells Joel that it's okay, that he understands.

'I don't know what to say, Richard.' Both boys look at me. Fuck, I love him. So much. 'Don't ever do this to me again.' He lunges towards me and hugs me tight. He presses soft kisses in my neck and I pat him on his back. I look at Joel, who is staring at the floor. Might need to talk to him. Need to know how he feels. 'I love you, Tiffany.' I am not saying it back. Maybe tomorrow.