Seasons of Love || Richard Camacho

54

May 24th

Katarina hugs me tight and she's crying. So I start crying as well. 'Sorry, sorry, sorry.' 'It's okay. I'm sorry for leaving and not telling you where I was.' When we finally let go of each other, Jodi hugs me and tells me that I'm a stupid bitch. All the others hug me and I feel ridiculous. As if I have been missing for thirty years. 

When everyone acts normal again, I go to the kitchen to make a sandwich. 'Tiff?' I turn around. 'Hi Joel, are you okay?' He nods and he hugs me. 'Are we going to forget about what happened?' Okay he sounds sad. This breaks my heart. 'No Joel. I don't want to forget. It meant a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.' I kiss his cheek. 'We can't tell anyone.' He states. 'I don't think we should.' He lets go of me and nods. 'Worst timing ever, eh?' I don't want to cry, but his eyes make it an impossible task. I quickly wipe away a tear and I take a deep breath. 'I love Richard. Very much. And I love you too, Joel.' 'But in a different way.' I nod. He kisses my cheek and walks back towards the living room. Fuck.

Richard makes me sit on his lap and it doesn't feel natural at all. India hugs Joel and he lets her. Katarina pushes Erick away when he tries to pull her against him, because she's too busy looking at me. Okay, things are awful. I want to go back home. I want to stay in bed and never speak to a person ever again. And I can't pretend everything's okay. 'When are you guys leaving?' My voice makes it sound rude. They seem to be in shock. 'The fifteenth of June.' Zabdiel is the one to break the silence. Nice, they're here for my birthday. Yay. 'Cool.' I get up and walk upstairs to lock myself in the bathroom. Slowly, I let myself sink to the floor and I let the tears do their thing. Which is ruining my face. My head is pounding and breathing is hard. Fucking Joel. He should've let me drink myself to death.

Jodi is the one who finds me. She starts crying as well and sits down next to me, taking me into her arms. 'Oh Tiff, what is going on in your head?' I tell her that I don't want to be here and that I don't like people.  And I tell her that I want my old life back. I want to go back to having sex with strangers and drinking until my brain is drowning. 'You don't really want that.' I nod. 'The only thing I had to worry about, was how great the sex was.' She laughs at that and she kisses my temple. 'You want to get out of here?' I nod and she lifts me up. 

'We're leaving!' She yells when we reach the front door. Christopher hurries towards us and hugs me. 'I am so sorry. For everything you're going through. You don't deserve this. I would almost say I am sorry about meeting you.' I chuckle and Jodi kisses his lips. 'I am not coming back tonight. I'll text you.' They really are a great match. And the way he smiles at her... Ugh. I am about to close the door behind me when Richard pulls it open again. 'Where are you going? What's wrong? Why do you look like you have been crying?' And for fuck sake, I start crying again. 

'Richard, I can't handle all of this.' He shakes his head and he wraps his arms around me. 'You're not leaving. Not without me. I am not letting you walk away from me again.' He looks like he's never been more sure about anything. My fingers take a hold of his T-Shirt and I press my face against his chest. 'It's okay Jodi. I'll take her home.' And I let him take me home. 

He pours me a glass of water and makes me drink it. He undresses me in the most careful way before making me get in the shower. He washes my hair and he seems to be making sure that he doesn't touch me in a sexy way. He's being extremely sweet and he dries me off before putting me into bed. 'Richard, it's not even bedtime yet.' He doesn't say anything. He lies down as well and he pulls me close. And I feel safe. I feel like things in my head might be okay.