Seasons of Love || Richard Camacho

57

May 31st

Why am I awake? I want to sleep forever and ever and never see anyone ever again. This is starting to become a pattern. Being okay, living, doing stupid things, never wanting to wake up. But waking up next to Richard, that is quite a surprise. Should I say something? Maybe not. I sneak out of bed and allow myself to breathe when I'm in the kitchen.

'You shouldn't have left yesterday.' I turn around to see Zabdiel leaning against the wall. 'I thought...' 'You thought it would be nice to let Joel suffer on his own.' 'What the fuck? That's not what happened.' 'No, because we're decent people. But a loyal friend would've stayed with him to take the hits together.' What the fuck Zabdiel?

I gasp for words. Why is he doing this? Is this how everyone feels about me? 'He was the one to break a promise.' 'A nasty promise. Cheating on your boyfriend with one of his best friends. That's low.' Tears run down my cheeks and I just don't know what to say. 'I may not have been a good girlfriend. Or a friend. But I was hurt. And Joel was there for me when nobody was. In the last couple of months he's always been there for me when nobody else was. I love Joel with every fiber in my body. But not in the way I love Richard.' Zabdiel opens his mouth, ready to speak again. I am getting ready for painful words.

'Leave her alone Zabdiel. Go suck Isa's titties.' Richard makes him leave the kitchen. I can't look at him. As much as I want to believe that I am not a horrible person, I know I am one. I can hear him approaching me. He puts his pointer finger under my chin and makes me look at him. 'Please talk to me. I don't want to lose you again.' There are tears in his eyes. He looks hurt, sad and ugh. Tears keep streaming down and I can't stop them, there's no stop.

'Does that mean I still have you?' I sob. He nods and I let my body crash into his, wrapping my arms around him. His arms wrap around my waist and he lifts me up a bit. 'You have no idea how much I love you, Tina.' He whispers. 'I love you too, Richmond.'

We sit down on the couch and he tells me that nothing happened when I went to bed. Apparently Joel told them the entire story. And he told them I love him as a friend. Richard doesn't mention anything about Joel admitting his feelings for me. So I guess he didn't. I tell Richard that I was sad, hurt and that Joel gave me the feeling of unconditional love when I needed it. And how I will always love him for that.

'I love you, unconditionally.' I shake my head. 'Not as unconditionally as Joel. But I know that it's better this way. This is us. We're Richmond and Tina. We're dramatic and awesome.' He laughs and I kiss him. And it's amazing. It feels good and it feels like coming home from a vacation.

So everyone's awake and Richard and Joel are mad at Zabdiel. He apologises and I tell them that they should stop fighting. 'So, if everyone is done bickering about this, I would like to make a complaint.' Katarina says while raising her hand. Even Erick looks confused. She turns to Jodi and Christopher who are, surprise, cuddled up on the couch. 'You two should either move out of this house of calm the fuck down. I don't fucking care how big Christopher's dick is. I don't care that he's amazing in bed and I don't have to fucking know your bed-nicknames for each other.' Everyone, except for Jodi, Chris, Erick and Kat, bursts into laughter.

'Am I the only one curious about those nicknames?' Richard asks. Kat looks up and has to hold in her laughter. 'Chrisconda and Jocakes.' Everyone starts laughing again. 'I like Jocakes, it's cute. Maybe a bit to cute during sex.' I state. Jodi crosses her arms. 'Katarina made that name up for me.' Christopher blushes. This is getting awkward. 'Can't believe you stole my nickname for her, Chrisconda.' I wonder if that's the thing she is most mad about.

The rest of the afternoon is filled with love and laughter. Which is exactly what the group needs. Love and laughter. And it finally feels like we are a nice, steady, lovely group of friends.