Solangelo Oneshots

Sexual Education

Hazel POV
I was tied up in the Zeus Cabin. I had come from camp Jupiter with a godly negotiation group so I could visit Nico, but look where it had gotten me. Percy and Jason had tied Nico, Will, Frank, and I to chairs and placed us in the middle of the Zeus Cabin. We'd been there for what felt like hours when Jason walked in and said, "Welcome to sexual education for couples of the underworld! Today we will cover the basics, and at the end there will be time for questions. Any questions?"
Surprisingly, Nico was the first to speak. "I have a question. What the actual fuck is going on here?" Percy walked in. "Well, Nico, none of you have parents, so we decided to teach you the ins and outs of a healthy sexual life."
Will spoke up. "I'm a doctor, I already know these kinds of things. Could I please leave?"
"No." Jason answered.
"Why not?"
"Because then you will have left Nico to suffer all alone!"
"Um," Nico interrupted, "The literal lord of the Dead taught Hazel and I all this, so, we'll just be going."
"Nice try, Neeks, but Percy and I have been planning this for weeks."
"Okay, that's really, really creepy. I'm the son of Hades, so I know creepy. Either you let us go, or I'm going to tell Reyna about this." That usually works. But not this time.
"Nope!" Jason proceeded to show a PowerPoint presentation that left everyone rattled.
3rd Person POV
By the end of Percy's extremely detailed drawings of genitalia, Hazel had passed out. Just as Jason was about to explain to the group why intercourse was a natural part of a healthy relationship, Reyna burst in. "What the Hades, Percy? And Jason! I expected more from you!" Jason looked uncomfortable (not as uncomfortable as Nico or Frank.) "We were giving our friend sex ed."
"Please help us Reyna. Hazel has fainted," Nico said, "Also, Look at Frank. I think he's in shock." But Reyna wasn't listening. She was chewing out Jason and Percy. "Why the everloving Poseidon would you do this? Is that a giant wooden penis? What is wrong with you two?" She kept scolding them for several minutes until remembering that the others where tied to chairs. Will, upon getting untied, picked up unconscious Hazel and ran her to the infirmary. Frank didn't seem to register the fact that he was untied, still sitting in his chair silently, staring blankly at the wall. Nico immediately walked over to their captors and started screaming at them. And that, my dear friends, is why Jason and Percy are no longer allowed to be alone together.