Solangelo Oneshots

Sacked

Nico was pissed. He was currently stuck in a burlap sack, radishes bumping into his head. This was not how he had planned to spend his Sunday night. What made it worse was that Will had done this. Nico would never forgive him.

*two days earlier*
"Nico! Guess what?" Will said excitedly.
"What?" Nico looked up from his book.
"I planned a dinner party!"
"What?!"
"Don't worry. It's at Piper and Reyna's house. Piper suggested it. She wants to get to know us better, since you and Reyna are such good friends."
Nico sighed. "Will, I don't want to go to a dinner party at Reyna's house."
Will smiled mischievously. "Okay. I promise I won't make you walk to Reyna's house."

Now Nico was stuffed in a sack. "Will, I am going to kill you!"
"Channel that passion into the conversation at the dinner party."
"You're sleeping on the couch tonight."
"Yeah," Will admitted, "That's fair. I accept this outcome."
"Will, let me out of this sack right this instant or I swear that I will push you into a ditch! I am not kidding!"
"Fine. I'll let you out. But only because I'm deadly afraid of ditches, and because we're here." Will gently sat the squirming sack on the ground. Nico climbed out and immediately punched Will in the stomach.

Will, recently injured, knocked on the door. Piper answered. "Oh! You got him here!"
"Yep." Will groaned. "Stuffed him in a sack."

Piper looked at Nico. "He stuffed you in a sack to get you here?"
"Yeah. So I punched him."
"Violence indicates an unhealthy relationship."
"Piper, I get that you're the daughter of Aphrodite, but our relationship is fine. Honestly, I blame you for throwing a dinner party."
"Whatever, Di Angelo. Come on in! I made hors d'oeuvres."

"Where's Reyna?" Nico asked.
"Right here," Reyna groaned from behind Piper.
"Will stuffed me in a sack." Nico whined.
"Tattletale," Will said.
"You stuffed Nico in a sack?"
"Yes."

Reyna stepped toward Will threateningly.
"But," Will added quickly, "It was the only way I could get him to come."

"Wait, why didn't you want to come?" Reyna asked Nico. Nico looked uncomfortable.

"Let's not talk about this anymore." Piper butted in. "Who wants satyrs in a blanket?"
"Are they made with real satyr?" Will asked, disgusted and horrified.
"No, you idiot. They're made of pork."
"Thank the gods."

"So, Will, what have you been up to lately? How's the New Rome hospital treating you?" Reyna asked.
"It's good. I haven't had to remove any lightbulbs from any butts yet, so that's nice. Romans aren't as freaky as Greeks."
"You had to remove lightbulbs from butts in Camp Half Blood?"
"Oh, gods." Piper laughed. "You would not believe."

"So you didn't like the radishes?" Will asked later that night.
"I hate radishes." Nico said.
"You've never said anything about hating radishes before."
"That's because radishes don't come up in everyday conversation. If someone has never said that they like radishes, it's pretty clear that they don't like radishes."

Will considered this. "Good point. I'll do turnips next time."
"No."
"How about a giant aloe Vera leaf?"

Nico sat straight up. "Will. There will be no next time. If you stuff me in a sack again, I will pay a clown to follow you around for a month. And the money will come out of your Poptart budget."
"You wouldn't."
"Try me."