Solangelo Oneshots

Nightmare Children Part Two

"Uncle Nico? Are you sick?" Bella asked. Nico and Will were watching Bella for the weekend so Piper could take a vacation. For the record, Piper really sprung this on them.
"No. Why?" Nico asked.
"Because you got hurt last night. You were moaning and panting and whimpering like you were in pain."

Why, Nico thought, is it always Piper's kids that care about his sex life? Maybe it was an Aphrodite thing? Last time, Ceil, Bella's brother, had pulled out handcuffs and asked about them. So Nico said he was a police officer, and made sure to lock their bedroom drawers from then on. Ceil wasn't here now, But Nico wasn't sure how he would get out of this. "I broke my leg. But it's better now."
Bella looked satisfied. "Oh. Okay."

Will walked into the room. "Uncle Will! Guess what? Uncle Nico broke his leg last night!"
Will looked confused. "No. Nico's fine. Why do you think that?"
"Cuz' he was hurt yesterday. And that's why he was moaning and stuff last night. Duh. Didn't he tell you? Aren't you supposed to love and trust each other with that kind of thing?"

Again, maybe judging other people's relationships was an Aphrodite thing. Maybe Bella and Ceil were nightmare children. Maybe both.

"Oh. Um." Will stammered before explaining, "Well, Bella, when two people love each other very much, they get together and—" "Who wants ice cream?" Nico shouted, cutting off Will. He did not think Jason and Piper would be happy if their kids came home knowing about such things.
"I do!" Bella yelled. Thank the gods for ice cream.

"Mom! Guess what! Uncle Nico broke his leg because he loves uncle Will very much!"
Piper looked confused. "What?"
"That's why he was upset last night! Cuz' he broke his leg! It's because he loves Uncle Will very much and they got together and ate ice cream! Uncle Will told me!"

Piper glared at Will. "Did he now?"
"Yep!"
"That isn't what I was trying to say!" Will protested, "I was trying to talk about—"
"My husband is a doctor!" Nico interrupted loudly. He didn't mind talking about sex, but Bella was, what, eight? Nine? Nico wasn't sure. He had a lot of birthdays to keep up with. "So, Piper, you can imagine what he was going to say."
"What?" Piper said, clearly upset with the situation she was in. "You mean to tell me that you two had sex when my child was here?"
"What's sex?" Bella asked.
"Well," Will started, "Sex is when two people love each oth-"
"Shove off, Piper! You didn't ask if you could bring her here! You just brought her to us and left for two days! Will and I aren't going to change our lifestyle for you! You never changed it for Will and I."
"I've never gotten freaky when you slept at my house!"
"Oh, that's rich. Remember that time I woke up in the middle of night because you were yelling 'faster, Babe, faster!' Hmmm?"
Pipers face went red. She took Bella's hand. "Goodbye, Nico. Goodbye Will." And she left.

"Why did you keep trying to give Piper's kid the talk?"
"Why did you have to be so loud last night?"
"You love it."
"That's besides the point."
"It's true though."
"You told her you broke your leg?"
"Yeah. What would you have done? Never mind, you were there, it was awful."
"Okay, so I tell children the truth and you lie. Just bad habits. We can deal with it."
"Our bad habits fit well together."
"You know what else fits well together?"
"Wha— oh. Yes please."

This didn't go where I expected it to go. But I like it, even if it's super weird.