Solangelo Oneshots

Campfire Stories

"When I was a very young boy," Will said, sipping his lemonade, "I was so innocent and pure. Until it happened."

"Until what happened?" Piper asked.

"I was walking around, eating a lollipop. A hand reached out and grabbed my ankle. I dropped the lollipop and ran. The memories still haunt me."

"Oh, yeah." Enrique laughed. No one ever knows why he's here. No one invites him. "That was me. When I was younger, I would hide in sewers and grab kids' ankles. To be fair, though, I wasn't trying to eat your lollipop. I was trying to eat you."

We were all gathered around the campfire, telling each other true, disturbing stories. That's how we found out Enrique was even more of a creep than we had previously consider him to be.

"I've got one." I say, " I was doing some ambassador of Pluto business with these dead guys. We were just sitting in their afterlife, eating this weird Norse jelly, when one of them turned in the flamingo and bit off one of my ears. It was very painful. And yeah, the other dead person healed me, but it was still very painful and eye-opening experience."

"Don't you mean ear opening experience? Get it? Becau- wait, what? You let someone else heal you?" Will asked, frowning.

"Will, my ear had been bitten off." I replied.

"Well," Will said, "Yeah. I guess that makes sense. Sorry, I was just kind of jealous for a second there."

"Jealousy is hot." Enrique butted in.

"Enrique," Will said, "I'm going to need you to take three steps back before I stab you in the jugular with a scalpel."

"Oooh." Enrique said "Very visual. I like it. Violent is the new sexy."

"Enrique, I swear, if you do not back up right this second you will die much sooner than you would've originally died had you backed up in one second."

"Ooh. Sexy."