Solangelo Oneshots

Girlfriend

"So, Nico. When're you gonna get a girlfriend?" Percy asked from across the table.

Nico raised an eyebrow and said in a monotone voice, "What." He said it in a way that wasn't really a question, more of a 'shut up before I make you through violence' thing.

"C'mon, man. You're all alone. I've got Annabeth, Hazel's got Frank. When are you going to get someone special in your life?"

Everyone turned their heads to look at Percy, wondering if he was being serious or if he was kidding. "Percy, I have a boyfriend."

"Nico, you really shouldn't mock gay people. Reyna's not here, but she's still a person."

Nico took a deep breath. "I'm not mocking gay people. I am a gay person. I am dating Will Solace. We are a gay couple."

Will, who was stirring next to Nico, raised his hand. "I'm his boyfriend."

Percy was still confused ten minutes later. "Wait, wait. So you're in love with Will?"
"Will and I are dating."
"But you aren't in love with him?"
"I.....fine. Yes. I'm in love with him." This made Will put his hand over his heart in a dramatic fashion.

"So you're gay."
"Yes, Percy. We've discussed this."
"And you're smushing with Will?"
"A gross way of putting it, but sure."
"And so Will's gay, too?"
"Will's bi."
"And then—"

"Percy, how did you not know this?" Jason interjected. "Nico told you he liked you a few years ago."

"Well I had a lot going on at the time, Jason!" Percy exclaimed. "We had just defeated Gaea and I had to do the SATs and... Oh. Yeah, I remember now. Sorry everyone." He held his hands up in surrender then continued eating his eggs.

"Mmmmm. So good." He moaned. "You almost can't tell it's a cooked chicken embryo."

Hazel gagged and ran off to where Nico assumed was the bathroom. "Percy, why would you say that?" Will asked.

"You're a doctor, you understand that eggs are really-"

"Just because something's true doesn't mean you should say it."

"Like how you never said anything about dating Nico?"

Will took a deep breath. Percy's friends had been doing that a lot lately. "Do you really not remember me ever mentioning this? Like last week for instance, you asked if I wanted to get a drink with you and Jason. I said, no thanks, I'm hanging out with my boyfriend."

"Well how was I supposed to know Nico was your boyfriend?"

Nico rolled his eyes. "Percy, what about a few months ago? You said, 'Nico what are you doing tomorrow?' And I said, 'Will and I are going on a date.'" Nico looked at Percy expectantly.

Percy looked back at him, shocked. "I thought you were joking!"

"Do I look like the kind of person that jokes?"
"You honestly look like a court jester."
"Say that again, Percy, and watch what happens. Oh wait, you won't be able to watch, because you won't have eyes."

Percy looked from side to side nervously. "You're joking now, right?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
"You look like a cour- Aaaah!" Will held Nico back, albeit begrudgingly, because sewing eyes back in is no easy feat.

Hazel came back, her stomach considerably less full than when she left, to an odd sight. Will was struggling to hold her brother, who was trying to attack Percy. Percy shoveled his food into his bag and ran as fast as he could. Because as hard as sewing eyeballs back in can be, getting your eyeballs gouged out by an emo gremlin is worse.