Self Expression of A Burden

January 13th, 2018

I was the first one awake. I went to the bathroom and got water. Her mom got up next. We talked a little then woke up Purple. We decided to go to the mall. We curled each others' hair and got dressed together. At the mall she bought me lunch. We had Taco Bell. One of my favorites. We held hands walking around. Her boyfriend got triggered. We got matching best friend shirts and I'm literally so shook about them. My mom came to come get me and she got pissed we were alone. She bitched the whole way home. We got McDonald's. All I got was a mango smoothie. I wanted Blue to come over and watch Disney movies, but he was ignoring me. Then when he answered finally he just said that his mom was sick. Like yeah ok. Green never answers. I wanted to see him but he doesn't care either so ok to him too. My little sister and I watched some Moana. I fell asleep when she went back with my mom. I had weird dreams. Then I had to watch her again so we were gonna finish it, but she fell asleep. So I just went to sleep with her. I was woken up saying they were ordering food. My mom asked me what I wanted and I asked what do I usually get and then she just suggested shells and I was half asleep so I was like okay whatever yeah. The baby woke up then the food came. I finished Moana while I ate. I finished it then went to go finish Finding Dory from awhile ago. After I ate I pretty much went to sleep. I went to lay down so I had energy to write but I didn't. Blue ignored me this whole time. I'm sick of it. I fell asleep. I had more weird dreams. I remember one of them being us moving into a bigger house and my room actually being big enough. My heart was literally crushed when I realized I was dreaming. I've always wanted a big house. I never had one. This double-wide trailer I had when my parents were together was really nice and the size of a small house though. I had enough room then, but I was too little at the time to appreciate it. Oh yeah, I woke up a few minutes at some point, and apparently my mom and Robbie are getting a small storage unit. They asked me if I had stuff I wanted but didn't need in the house and I just said no. The last storage unit we had we couldn't afford anymore and I literally lost like all my stuff. I'm typing this morning of the 14th obviously. Blue was up until like 6am and posted on Instagram a picture of his bike at his cousin's. I pieced together he went bike riding with his cousin and then slept over. His mom wasn't sick. I told him I was done and that he's not going to hear from me again. I told Green the same thing. I'm done with bullshit. Like really. I'm going to clean my room since I'm up so early. I woke up at like 6:45. Like wtf?