Self Expression of A Burden

January 14th, 2018

I'm writing this the morning of the 15th. I was too tired yesterday. I woke up at like 6:30 and had an actual breakfast and felt productive and inspired?? I cleaned my room for a few hours and actually felt awake. I eventually had drivers ed so my dad picked me up. We got McDonald's and instead of ranch with my nuggets I ordered sweet and sour. (At that moment I was getting worried about myself... Like... Getting up early? Motivation? NOT RANCH??) I walked into my class and sat by my stoner friend as usual. He was wearing sunglasses, just staring at me as I walked in. We talked a little. He's weird and slightly ghetto but such a sweetheart. Purple told me to go for it but he has a girlfriend, and I technically have a boyfriend even though he doesn't act like it anymore. He kept getting all pissed because the sugar in his iced coffee settled at the bottom and it wouldn't stir in. I got my phone taken away the first time. Usually I'm a pro at hiding being on it but whatever. She usually gives a warning first, and she just asked for it, which I found weird since I never even had an issue with it but okay. After class my dad needed a nap since he didn't sleep yet so we went to his house. He slept, my brother watched a movie, I listened to music and was on my phone. Apparently the picture Blue posted yesterday was "old" and I guess I believe it because he posted a picture similar last week that could've been the same one. However, ignoring me like that was shitty and unacceptable. He's turned into such a shitty person. I wish he'd read these journal entries I'm doing. :) Anyway he ignored me most of the day again. My dad slept for like an hour then we went to Guitar Center. I bought a ukulele mount, a chord chart, and a song book. After that my brother wanted to go to the comic book store. I waited in the car.  When they came back we talked about dinner. We couldn't agree so we just ended up going to Tony's. This little diner place that has everything basically. I got salad, (they have HELLA ranch oml) and then this skillet. It came with sooo much food I almost died. I had left overs. I also had apple juice. After that we were dropped off at home. Mom and Robbie had been cleaning and rearranging and getting stuff together for the storage unit. Earlier my goal was to clean my closet because I have a bunch of bins and boxes but I had to clean the rest of my room first so I never got to it. (So hopefully after I eat breakfast and stuff I'll get to it.) I went in my room and tried keeping myself awake a little longer so I could sleep through the night. I fell asleep. I woke up, Blue had texted 6 times and thought I was cheating on him because I didn't answer like I always do. Welcome to my world bitch. I explained I was sleeping. I asked him where he was all day and what he was doing. He kept avoiding my questions like he always does. Eventually he answered and I got him to confess being on his game so I told him to pick between me and the game and he just didn't answer so I told him bye and that I was going to bed. I woke up to messages of him whining and I'm honestly glad because now he knows how it feels. I tried talking to Green. Even when he finally answered, it wasn't a straight answer. Whatever. Fuck them both. I'm going to eat then hopefully get to my closet. I hope for once I can get my room together and maybe make more space. Bye losers.