Self Expression of A Burden

January 9th, 2018

I'm writing this on the morning of the 10th, I crashed last night. I woke up for school, picked up Blue, then went to go see my new schedule on the computer in the library. Blue and Red have the same lunch as me, and I wish I could sit by them both but they hate each other. First period I got lost. I have dance studios. Second I have world history with this kid from my lunch last semester. He's a sweetheart. He offered to give me money from the vending machine since I was hungry. As a joke he calls me Dick Lord. White's girlfriend is in my biology class and it's weird. I went to take a sip of my tea in that class and apparently my tea bag exploded in my water bottle and I got a mouth full of leaves. End me. In fourth period math me and this kid I met on freshman experience day was in it. I was so happy. Blue doesn't like us talking so it was nice seeing him. We were partners. We screwed around the whole class and he almost got kicked out twice. Next I had study hall, he was in that too along with a friend from summer school and another kid from freshman experience day. It was nice being around familiar faces. Lunch was bad. I switched it to be with Blue but all they did was give me a panic attack and make me sad. Next I had PE and I don't have my hot teacher anymore. I have some ugly old lady. This weird girl and I talked the whole period. She went to a private school like me. Study hall was fine. I saw an old friend from math last semester and it hurt. He doesn't care about me anymore. I left study hall earlier because I felt like it. I wanted to be alone. I sat by my locker and wrote. Eighth English was fine. I sat by one of my good friends from my middle school. I think she means more to me than I do to her and it hurts. I fought with Blue after school. We went to McDonald's. They seem like they don't care anymore. They don't want to try getting us to work out. I don't think they love me anymore but they're too scared to admit it. I didn't see Green all day. I hate them so much. Like I couldn't even tell you. I just miss not having someone to talk to anymore. I think about them a lot. I wish things didn't happen like they did, but it's expected since no one stays. I went with my dad and brother. We went to my dad's warehouse and messed with the go-cart we have. After we went to Menards to get a new pot for my plant Phil that grew out of his. Everywhere I  looked reminded me of Green and it hurt a little. I fell asleep in the car. I had no energy. Blue ignored me again all day. We went to Ledo's for dinner. All I could bring myself to eat was a salad. I saw my grandpa since he's the manager. He means the world to me. I got home and started typing my story and listening to sad music while I cried. I wrote all day at school. Purple and I should be having a sleepover Friday and I'm terrified but sort of excited. I have physical therapy Friday and Wednesday though. Anyway I fell asleep crying and typing. I woke up a few times because I never can sleep through. I woke up an hour early and decided to type this. January 10th begins. Peace.