Confession To You

Relationships gone wrong

Relationships gone wrong

Do you know people who are in a relationship for a long time now and would always complain about how their boyfriends have changed? From being the all-effort guy to a just-enough-effort guy? Comparing the stage wherein they are still in the stage of getting to know each other, the guy is still courting the girl and to the stage wherein the girl has already gave her sweet yes and now they have been together for over a year? You do? I, too, have friends like that. 

And sadly, I, too, am once that type of girl.

Efforts.. who doesn’t want efforts, anyway? For sure girls love efforts, they love being loved by the man of their life. They love feeling special, every freakin day by their boyfriends, they love getting surprises from them. But have we asked ourselves if we ever made them feel the same way too? Guys are also in need of that kind of effort, that kind of love. Sure, maybe you are a grown Dalagang Pilipina wherein you believe that it’s only the guys who should exert that much effort to you. Wakey wakey! We are in the 21st century now. Things have changed. I salute those guys who would still make effort to make their girlfriends smile everyday, who would give stuff to their girlfriends everyday just to make them feel the love, and who would surprise their girlfriends every freakin day just to assure her. (And yes, I know someone) To think that the guys really spend moolah for the girl and spend extra extra time just to be with her, damn that’s one heck of a boyfriend. 

But just because your boyfriends are not like that, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Not all men in reality are same as the guys we see in movies. Wake up, this is the real thing. Don’t get stuck to wanting to have your own Ser Chief or Gu Jun Pyo. Whatever. Or whoever. Even if your boyfriends are not the same as the guys you’ve seen in movies, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Every freakin man in this world is different, and they have different ways to show their love. Some guys make you feel it everyday, while some guys get jealous to every single guy that talks to you, and others spend their motherfucking allowance just to buy you stuff. Which, by the way, even if it’s sweet, is not my thing. Unless if my boyfriend already has his own job and doesn’t have to worry about money, that’s when I’m gunna receive things from him. (Exclude my birthday, that was a surprise. :P)

-Rest muna. Akalain niyo, intro pa lang yun. Kinapos na’ko sa Ingles. Bwiset. Hahaha :P-

As you all know, Zamboanga is experiencing a war. And because of the war, we students are forced to stay at our homes —which means, no class. Duh, who would want to have classes in the middle of the war? So I decided to backread my blog. And I’ve read a blog wherein I compared the stages of relationship.The Courting Stage and the In A Relationship Stage. And like what I said above, things can change. Efforts shown by a guy may be minimal compared to the efforts shown while you were still dating. But that doesn’t really mean that the guy loves you any less.

My explanation is once the girl says her yes to the guy, they now are on the same level. Which means, both should start exerting efforts, both should make each other feel the love, both should care, both should work to make their relationship last. It’s not only the guy. Why? Because he’s the guy. In some aspects, it may be applicable but my point of view has completely changed when I met Raynard. 

I realized that in order to make our relationship work, I gotta work my butt off too. I gotta sow to him that I really do love him. It’s a give and take kind of thing. Remember, you agreed when he asked you to be your boyfriend. Meaning, you already love him. So why go complaining that your boyfriend doesn’t do the same efforts as he did when he was still courting you when you yourself is not doing anything to make him feel loved?

But that doesn’t mean boys should stop exerting efforts. I’m just saying that it’s a two-way process. But when you realized that your boyfriends have completely stopped exerting even little efforts, then that’s another story.