From: AR

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Dear E,

I don’t know how it happened, I don’t know why and I can’t even remember when. It just that one day, your existence made its way to my reality and my life seems to have more colors.

I am too young. We’re too young. We’re just teenagers on our way to building ourselves. I don’t know what it is that made me feel this way. I know that everything has their right time and place. At this point, it can never be in the right time. Sometimes, I hate myself for seeing you with this feeling.

I know you don’t have any idea of who you are to me. You don’t have any idea how I can do anything I can for you. You don’t know how you made me feel and may be you’ll never have a chance to know.

Love is really beyond rationality. I’ve known you since high school. At some point, you liked me. I rejected you with too many reasons. At that point, I never imagined that reciprocal love does exist. I rejected you because I know that we’re not ready and I’m too young to love. Because, for me, love is a very serious thing and relationships should not be taken for granted.

You moved on, we’re still friends. Suddenly, the world turned upside down. I am loving you in secrecy, filling my heart with the thoughts of you. With all the confessions, I know it’s too complicated. But, I don’t care. I still love your whole being. I accepted you as you are.

How can I be friends with you if everytime I look at you, I want you even more?

Now, we’re very okay. Your happiness makes me happy even if it’s with someone else, even if it hurts. I am ready to accept the consequences of not telling you on what I feel. At least, we’re friends. At least, I can still gaze at my unreachable star.Just be happy and I will be okay.

I am not giving up on you in the most silent way. When you start to settle with someone, I will be happy. When I know that it’s for forever, I am willing to free this love for you. For now? I am happy secretly loving you beyond rationality. I am not aiming for anything in return anyway. I am happy this way.

Let’s study well and live life to it’s fullest!

bbypanget

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