The Door To The Beauty Of Life

who am I?

Who am i?
This i have always wondered.
when im in love, im kind and gentle.
sweet and forgiving.

when im broken.
im quiet and detached.
fiery and distant.

when im happy.
im hyper and bemusing.
im rediculous and teasing.

when im sad.
im deep and insiteful.
curious. and lost.

there is so much that goes into making me.
How i am.. and it leaves me aching and wondering.
what does it mean.
who does it make me.

To them i am nothing.
i eat the food they offer .and never thank them.
i sleep in the bed they bought and show no initative.
i stay out of trouble and keep to myself, so i have to be antisocial.
to them i am everything i know im not.
but you hear it so often.
you begin to question what you know.
am i really who i think.

i have never broken a law.
i never skipped class.
i never snuck out.
i have never done drugs.
i really dont drink.
most people would say im well behaved for my age.
but ask them. they liked me more when i was young.
when i had innocence to protect me.
when ma'am and sir where godly words.
when my manors were unflawed.
when i never spoke my heart.
when i never got angry.

im sorry im no longer blind.
im sorry i was hurt and now i know.
the truth of what my life is.
i know the wrong that i was done.
i know that my voice has meaning.
i get angry and sometimes i cry.
im sorry im so lost.
i dont know who i am.

but even when i try to learn.
i dont get anywhere.
im told the same story.
im pushed to the side and lost in the dark.

though ill be okai
i wont take much more.
im coming out.
im embracing myself.
i am who iam.
you cant change me.
you may not see who i am.
but someone else will.