The Door To The Beauty Of Life

the sister i never wanted

I was born with a twin.
She's the sister I never wanted.
She's the voice who always drowns me out.
She's controlling and demanding.
She liked to lock me in my room.
She likes to keep me from eating.
She ruins my relationship cause to her no one deserves to suffer me.
My twin sister speaks for me.
Or she would if I ever spoke.
She over thinks and tells me lies.
I was born with her I have always had her.
But I hate her so much.
My twin sisters name is anxiety.
I inherited it from my mother.
She has one two.
Yet my mother still doesn't understand as my anxiety holds me down to my bed.
Tell me things that make me wanna cry.
My mother has watched my sister slowly kill me but has never tried to teach me to fight her.
My doctor says I'm weak that she will never let me sleep she will never be nice. She will never let me eat or speak. So she gave me a medicine it's meant to make me stronger. It's like Popeyes spinach meant to help me have a voice to stand up for myself to her. Sometimes it works but each night she still climbs in my bed and speaks to me till early morning cause she doesn't want me to sleep.
When I was young I learned that she's scared of blood. It only ever took a tiny cut she would run away. She always came back but at least I could have a break. Least I could breath again.

My sister has never let me alone. It took me years but I have finally learned to fight. Yes I still have days when she tortures me. Yes sometimes she still keeps me up. But I have learned to fight her with out hurting myself more. The medicine helps but friends and family have help e even more I have learned how to fight.

I have a sister I never wanted. I have lived with her my entire life. It took me years to accept her..longer to protect myself  from her. I have learned that my sister can protect me sometimes ....she just needs to hurt me first