The Door To The Beauty Of Life

Having Faith

Did you know.
That when you loose faith in yourself.
It begins to show in the things you do.
You stop doing the things you love.
You isolate yourself.
You stop worrying about the little things.
Because it all seems obsolete.

Once upon a time.
I lost faith in myself,
But i didn't just accept that loss.
I was angry about it.
I knew who i wanted to be.
I hated that i wasn't that person.

Normally part of me would have fought harder,
To maintain that peace of mind.
But the people closest to me,
they all gave up on me.
So if they think i am worth nothing.
Then maybe i was.

I didn't know this yet,
But someone other then me cared.
They worried when i lost hope.
So they pushed me back-on track.
I didn't always see them do it.
They didn't talk to me.
They took action.
Sometimes their actions angered me,
But it only inspired that fire in me.

I gained hope again.
My faith was weak,
But something in me screamed.
I had to try, even if i failed.
So i did, i tried with all my heart.
So now im back.

My hope restored.
Someone close to me believed i could do this.
But what really gave back my faith.
Was someone who only just meant me.
Saw my potential.
They took a action not before taken.
That one person, he made all the difference.
He gave me a opportunity.
a opportunity, that is rarely given.
He didn't give it out of pity for me.
He gave it to me out of faith.
He knew i could handle it.
He knew its where i belonged.
He gave me back my faith in myself.
By showing me he had faith in me.

( Today i was asked."what do you want to do with your life. Give me three thinks you want to do." for the longest time my answer has always been the same two things. Because i always figured, i didnt need more then that. my plan and plan B just incase, But when asked for a third. I actually had to think.
I spent last 6 years of my life devoted to one things. and the last 3 devoted to another. Never did i think i could have a third. My answer was as always. " i want to be a social worker. So i can become a therapist for kids that have backgrounds like mine. I want to do photography. because i hate to forget things, and a picture can capture a memory. my third answer ...it took me the longest to choose.
I want to be a writer. don't know what id write, but i wanna write it. I have never been good at verbally expressing what i feel not even in therapy. However i have always been able to write. I have always been able to express myself better in written and typed word. Better then i could in spoken word. I want to write something. That someone will wanna read. Something that will touch someones heart.
They wont just "relate" to it like everything else. they would read it and feel it. They will realize that im writing about something they may have actually lived through. i know personal written word can save a life. I want to help people i always have.

my three choices will help me and someone else. Therapist help people learn and grow from their emotions and thoughts. Photographers capture precious memories so that they can live on in peoples hearts forever. And Writers say what others are scared to, they give a outlet to express emotion to the reader that other media's just cant do.

One other thing happened today. Someone i respect greatly. Informed me that im a good writer, im a good reader, and im capable. is it a coincidence i was asked this question. then given a oppertunity to use my writing skills to help me achieve my goals. in the same day. Maybe...What ever the reason. I dedicate this poem to Mr. Sumner.
~ thank you for believing in my capabilites.)