NeRds University(Sequel to NeRds) (Completed)

Lardass

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING

WARNING: IF YOU ARE SUFFERING WITH ANOREXIA OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS SUFFERING WITH IT GO TO THIS SITE AND GET HELP!!!

https://www.betterhelp.com/helpme/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_c&utm_term=getting+help+for+anorexia_e&utm_content=27700781410&network=g&placement=&target=&matchtype=e&utm_campaign=627463402&ad_type=text&adposition=1t1&gclid=CjwKCAiA47DTBRAUEiwA4luU2Ygt9jkyEhdQZbQe9QvFxLHl49Ol31NlWce6KXGSWyoGP6OX1ldsJRoCpMgQAvD_BwE&not_found=1&gor=helpme

OK, THATS IT

CLARY POV

I look at him, up and down. His hair was messy. His jacket gone. He looked tiered. I bite my lip. "Where were you" I ask frowning, my voice filled with worry, frustration and angst. He frowns at me tiredly.

"Can we talk about this later...i'm tiered." He says.

"No, Jace where were you?" I ask again.

"Why do you care Clary?" He asks.

"Because you said you were going on a walk! I called you 5 times and you didn't pick up!" I say.

"So what? now you're keeping tabs on me 24/7?" He asks raising his voice.

"Jace....I was worried about you" I say a little hurt with his words.

"Really? well you should stop worrying about me so much! I mean seriously! You called me non stop in California...and now you're doing the same thing here! You're such a.."

"Such a what?" I ask him. Challenging him, yet not wanting to know the answer for my own question.

"Such a control freak....a lardass!" He says. That hurt, badly, terribly. Not the control freak part....The lardass part. My vision started to blur and my throat was suffocating me. Usually I would have said something mean back, or something out of anger like 'if I'm such a lardass then why are you dating me?' But not this time. I clear my throat.

"Ok" I squeak out. "I'm sorry you feel that way" I whisper. I grab my bag and walk out of the hotel in my pajamas, but I didn't care, Not now. He didn't even say he was sorry. I went into the apartment and threw my things on the floor. I finally let the tears pour out. I whimper as I cry. I hug my pillow tightly. My heart ached as I cried pathetically into the pillow. There is something no one knew.....Only my parents knew.

*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&

I looked in the mirror. I looked at it in disgust, still not skinny enough. I had dropped 20 pounds in a week just by not eating. Maybe now people won't think I'm fat. My parents were worried. But I wasn't, I was ugly, I was a cow. A hippo. I was huge, and I didn't want to be huge.

><><><><><><>

I know I have a problem, but I still see myself as someone obese and ugly, even though you could see my bones, that just made me look even uglier.

$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#

After what I went through, and to be called a lardass by the person I gave up everything for, who I loved with all my heart. It burned, it hurt. It hurt so badly. Even when he left me because of his mom, when he was 'dating Aline' this hurt even more because he was willing to do this, this was his opinion, his actual, real opinion. I am a Lardass. I will always be a lardass, I have always been a lardass. I get up and grab my tooth brush, what i'm doing is stupid and irresponsible...especially since i want to become a doctor. I open the toilet seat and stab my esophagus. And then, I vomit. (A/N: Please don't do this! this probably doesn't even work since i haven't ever.....tried to vomit...so please don't try this! and again if you know someone or if you are sufforing from anorexia please! go to this site!

https://www.betterhelp.com/helpme/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_c&utm_term=getting+help+for+anorexia_e&utm_content=27700781410&network=g&placement=&target=&matchtype=e&utm_campaign=627463402&ad_type=text&adposition=1t1&gclid=CjwKCAiA47DTBRAUEiwA4luU2Ygt9jkyEhdQZbQe9QvFxLHl49Ol31NlWce6KXGSWyoGP6OX1ldsJRoCpMgQAvD_BwE&not_found=1&gor=helpme