My Saviour

(16) Why am I your brain?

Chapter 16 - Kian's POV.

Kayla's ignoring me. How do I know that? Well, she's been avoiding me: whenever I'm in the house, she's out, and whenever I'm out of the house, she's in. Even in school she avoids me! On top of that, she bites her lip more often (I sneak around the house to make her think I'm not here just so I can see her) which is a clear sign she's nervous and over thinking something. So it's safe to say she's been ignoring me. But can you blame me for her nervousness? I've been wanting to kiss her for so long and the other day was the perfect opportunity. I didn't expect for her to react like this.

Then what did you expect her to do? Jump your bones and confess that she loves you.

Um yeah.

Why am I your brain? Out of all the people in the world, why am I your brain?

Because you love me.

Shut up, it sounds as if you have a crush on me and not Kayla ... therefore making you gay.

I don't have a crush on Kayla.

You see guys? It's so boring without Sunshine in my life so I've resorted to talking to my own brain because of how bored I am.

I thought you love me.

No, you love me. But anyways, I miss my Sunshine. She's beautiful, smart, caring and I guess she just intrigues me, yep that's it. I first found her so irritating in the beginning and outgoing and annoying - opposite of me.

I don't know why on earth I kissed her, it's not like I like her or anything. Well I don't think I do. No, I'm pretty sure I don't. I can't. 

Not only does she deserve someone better, much better but she doesn't like me. She could never like me. She's the popular girl who would never fall for the loner boy who everyone is scared of, not like I care because I don't like her in that way. I've barely gotten used to her being friends with her. 

I'm not used to having friends. I guess the only friends I've ever had are my brothers and sisters. I've just never been good at making friends. Since a young age I was antisocial and did hated having a conversation. I'd rather just drown myself in music and just ignore the real world. 

Anywaaays, back to my point. Before I found her annoying and frustrating, she honestly made me want to pull my hair out with her stupid knock knock jokes which I still cannot stand but I guess it's funny how things change.

I really want to know why she's been self harming though, because I want to be there for her and help her get through it but I guess there are a few things that I haven't told her yet so I shouldn't be one to talk about sharing feelings.

I groaned out loud and tried thinking about ways to get Sunshine to speak to me again. I missed her laugh, smile and when she scrunched up her adorable nose when she was disgusted by what I said.

She was the only one who actually cared enough to talk to me. Everyone in school is too scared to talk to me, they think that I'll beat them up if they even touch me. I'm not that violent am I? Maybe I've gotten into a few fights but I'm not that bad. It was there fault for messing with the wrong guy, if they can't face the consequence then they shoudn't do the deed in the first place. 

A snigger covered up by a cough (yeah I caught that!) broke me out of my thoughts and I diverted my eyes towards my doorway to see Jamie and Trevor there, holding their fists to their mouth, trying to stop their laughter from leaving their mouths. 

They failed.

Loud laughter erupted in the room, echoing off my walls, thankfully my walls are more or less soundproof unless spoken really loudly or the doors are open, so I'm guessing their laughter could be heard from a mile away.