My Saviour

(17) "Wait what? I was too busy staring at your boobs"

Chapter 17- Kian’s POV

Everything was back to normal, well not everything. Kayla still lives in the same house as me but beside that everything is as it used to be before Kayla acknowledged my existence. I’m still the loner guy in school that everyone is terrified of and Kayla is still the popular girl that every girl wants to be and every guy wants to have. That thought in particular angered me. All these slimy guys thinking about Kayla as if she was a piece of meat. Even though we may not be friends, I still care about her. A lot.

It was just a typical lunch when I was sitting on my bench with my ear phones plugged in as I listened to my rock music when I saw Kayla walk by looking so perfect. How does she do it? She’s going through so much but yet she still holds it all together and fakes a smile. I can tell that the smile she has on her face is fake because her eyes aren’t glowing like they normally do and her slight dimple on her left cheek isn’t making an appearance.

Wow, I must sound like such a stalker, observing Kayla from afar but I just can’t help it. All these days without her have been hell but if she’s going to be stubborn then so am I. I tried to go up to her many times but she just ignored me so now I’m going to be the same.

I had the normal glare on my face that I shot to anyone who annoyed me. I picked up my sandwich and ate it slowly as I closed my eyes and bobbed my head to the music. I felt a pair of eyes staring at me so I slowly opened my eyes and looked back to see Kayla staring at me from her table. Once she noticed that I saw her she got red and then gave me an awkward smile. Instead of replying to that I just turned around and continued eating.  

I was used to these awkward moments with her. Every time I bumped into her at home she would just give me an awkward smile or if I was lucky enough I got a wave. Soon enough I just walked past her without waiting for her awkward smile or wave. I couldn’t just stand there staring at her knowing I could still have at least been her friend if I didn’t make that stupid mistake of kissing her.

I just don’t understand. Why is she so upset if she kissed me back? I didn’t force her to do that. She could have easily pushed me away but she didn’t. Instead she pulled me closer and I felt over the moon but not so much anymore. Maybe she’s on her periods and will be okay soon. Okay now I’m just lying to myself to make me feel better.

It’s not going to happen Kian, just let it go.

No matter how much I try I just can’t. She changed me for the better and then just disappeared from my life, she can’t just do that. Well I guess she can because she just did.

Okay I need to forget about her. She is nothing to me. N O T H I N G. She’s just a normal girl who’s way too happy about life and needs the reality of the real world shown to her, it’s not all happy and not everyone is nice.

That’s another thing about her, she’s too nice. She always looks at the best in people no matter how horrible they are to her but she does this without being a pushover. She is just truly incredible. I can’t forget her, I can’t just pretend she doesn’t exist because she played a big part of my life even though I only knew her for a month or 2 but I guess I don’t matter to her as much as I thought I did since she’s choosing to ignore me.

I guess I could try again to be nice but I look like whipped dude. I’ve tried so many times and every time I got the same reply, I should just know better and not try in case I make everything go worse.

I heard the bell go so I grabbed my bad and head over to class.

The whole day went like this. The same old same old. There were no more awkward encounters with Kayla and not one person approached me. I’m not even surprised anymore, I’m used to it.