All We Thought // Ashton Irwin [AU]

Chapter 22: Long Talks And Deep Thoughts

After finishing the most awkward dinner ever, I sat outside on the edge of our back patio, icing my sore shoulder.

I stayed quiet the rest of the dinner, while Evan discreetly tried to hold my hand numerous times.  I shoved his hand away each time.  The last thing I wanted was to be touched.

We talked about the wedding, well rather my mother and everyone else talked about the wedding.  My mother mentioned me that this week I should go to pick out a gown with Amber, since she was going to be my maid of honor.  I just nodded my head, and sipped my wine, counting down the minutes until dinner was over.  

Once my mother and Evan's mother started to question me about things like how I wanted the venue decorated, what our first song would be, and if we went to order the cake yet, I excused myself from the table to go get some fresh air.  

The misery and anxiety was starting to suffocate me and my chest was already starting to tighten. 

The spring breeze warmed my skin, rustling my hair ever so slightly.  I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, and kicked off my heels onto the grassy area of the backyard.  I concentrated on the grass between my toes, listening to nothing but the leaves rustling.  

I was completely lost in thought, until someone came and sat next to me.

"Evan and his parents just left."  my brother stated.

I stayed quiet, but he continued.  

"I don't suppose you want to tell me what happened back there do you?" he was staring straight ahead, waiting patiently for me to answer. 

"The guy with the tattoos and piercings is my intern, Ashton, who also just happens to like me as more than just a mentor."

He laughed quietly, "I figured that much, considering he kissed you."

I whipped my head to the side to look at him, "You saw that?"

"Yes, and you didn't exactly pull away little sis." he joked as he nudged my shoulder with his.

I blushed, and bit my bottom lip, trying to hide my smile.

My brother broke the silence, "Be honest with me, what's really going on?"

I started to pick at each blade of grass, as I told him everything, from start to finish.

He stayed quiet the entire time, not making any judgmental comments or asking any questions.  When I finished I sighed deeply and the silence set in between us again.

"So, how do you really feel about Ashton?"  he asked.

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and wrapped my arms around myself, "I don't know, he's my intern and I'm engaged.  We are just friends I guess."

"Well...what if he wasn't your intern and you weren't engaged.  Then what would you say?"

I rolled my eyes, "Harrison, you know how I feel about these hypothetical life questions.  It doesn't really matter.  Things are the way they are and you can't really do anything about it."

He put his finger up and waved it back in forth, clearly indicating he disagreed as he continued, "Au contraire little sis.  Working in the science field, you should know that you always have to ask questions, and that those questions usually lead to a valid answer.  Engagement isn't permanent and just because he's your intern doesn't mean anything.  Plus, you need to stop listening to mom and dad.  Trust me, I know how persuasive they can get.  Why do you think I moved out?"

I was so confused, "Wait, are you suggesting that I end everything with Evan and date Ashton instead?  I thought you would have been so pro-Evan and anti-Ashton?"

He laughed at my phrasing, "I'm pro-whatever-will-make-my-little-sis-happy, it doesn't matter what I think.  I have my own opinions but I'm not sharing them cause then you will be swayed by my opinion.  Just remember though, love isn't suppose to be easy, it's suppose to be a constant battle, but in the end, you'll be the happiest you've ever been.  Don't go with mom and dad's whole theory about marrying wealthy.  It's such crap, money isn't everything."

I shook my head, "Psh, what do you know about fighting for love?  You've been dating Tiffany for forever and have never had any issues.  You two are practically soul mates.  You clicked instantly and it was never a struggle for you two."

He put his hand behind his head and sighed, "Um...yeah...about that.  We broke up like a year ago."

I was beyond shocked, "What?!  Then how were you telling girlfriend vacation stories at dinner today?  Why didn't you tell me?"

He laughed at how I didn't realized what was going on, "Notice I kept just saying 'my girlfriend' and I never mentioned a name?  That's because I have a new girlfriend.  Her name is Valissa.  We've been doing the long distance thing.  She lives in France, I actually met her on one of my business trips.  A few months later, I vacationed to Europe to be with her for awhile.  It's not easy but we are making it work.  All I know, is that I'm happier than I've ever been.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it wasn't exactly an over the phone conversation topic."

Now I felt like a bitch for telling him that he didn't know about fighting for love.

He took a deep breath before continuing, "I think you have some serious thinking to do.  Oh and by the way, you better choose fast cause your wedding date is quickly approaching."  he joked, laughing as he stood up, and headed inside.

Luckily by the time I went inside, everyone already headed upstairs into their separate rooms.

I took a quick shower, and crawled into bed, only listening to one or two songs from my CD stack, before I fell asleep.

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When I walked into work the next day, I greeted Kelly as usual and headed to my office.

Ashton spotted me from across the hall and immediately came in behind me.  

To be honest, I wanted to just forget the dinner disaster, but I couldn't no matter how much I wanted to.  My mom and dad refused to talk to me because they saw Ashton kiss me and according to my brother (who was still amused by the whole scene) my parents were besides themselves with disbelief and disgust.

Ashton placed a cup of piping hot cup of coffee on my desk in my favorite mug, as he sat down in one of the chairs in front of my desk.  

He ran his hands through his already existing bed head, "Roxie, I'm really sorry about yesterday.  I shouldn't have instigated everything with Evan.  I was still slightly buzzed from the alcohol on the plane, and I knew that but I just didn't care.  I was just so angry with what he did to you, I couldn't help myself when I saw him."

I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest, "What about the fact that you didn't tell me that you talked to Evan that night?  I would have believed you if you told me everything he said to you.  Do you know how guilty I felt when I found out that you were right the entire time and I thought you were lying about Evan cheating?"  I lowered my voice, "I hated being mad at you."

He sighed, "I know, I'm sorry.  I was so smashed that night I don't even know how I formed coherent sentences."

"And what about the kiss?"

He giggled, "I'm not apologizing for that.  There's no regret there. You're a really great kisser."  

I stood up, walking out of the room to hide my smile.  As I predicted, Ashton followed me at my heels like a puppy.

"I'm sorry Roxie!  I don't know what to do to convince you how sorry I am."

I stopped walking and turned around, "It's fine Ashton.  I forgive you." 

I was smiling when I said those words because in all honesty, I was fine, and deep down, I knew everything was going to be more than fine.