I'm Not Sure of My Feelings for You 2 (Harry Styles and Camila Cabello)

Chapter 104 Fragile

WARNING: YOU MAY CRY OR HAVE TEARS IN YOUR EYES. I DID WHILE WRITING THIS, IF YOU CRY OR HAVE TEARS COMMENT "LIFE"

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(Small Bump Ed Sheeran

You and I John Legend

Irresistible One Direction)

"Mi niña, open the door." My mom calls, but I just shake my head. "Please?" She pleads.

I've lost my voice from yelling and screaming into my pillow. My eyes are burning that I can hardly open them, I can feel that they are swollen. This is worse than when I sobbed for hours, when Harry and I broke up.

I'm not happy that I have lost the baby but again I'm not unhappy that I don't have to tell Harry. I realize that I have to tell him one day but for now I don't want to worry about that.

I'll never know if I was meant to have a girl or boy, I won't know if I would've been a good mother. It isn't that I'm young, it isn't that I'm not married, its that I will never know.

I slept for an hour or two but woke up after having a nightmare about loosing my child.

We were at a store shopping for baby clothes, the baby was in the stroller. I reached for a onesie from a shelf and when I turned back the stroller was empty, the baby was gone. I was inaudible but I could feel myself screaming, I could feel my heart breaking.

I woke up in a terrible sweat that covered my whole body, I was soaked with perspiration. I was crying, and screaming in my sleep. I needed someone but had no one, and I still have no one. I don't have a stable man in my life, and I won't for a while.

I have to reunite with Harry or leave him, I need someone stable. I need that stability in my life to help me get through whatever hardships it will throw at me. I want to be with Harry but as I think harder about it, I need someone that won't be dangerous. Someone who will be with me and stay with me through thick and thin, a person who will encourage me through decisions in my lifetime.

Harry has been there but he has also lied to me, he made me believe that he didn't love me, or care for me. He convinced me that all of it was a game, that he didn't mean anything. It has been two years since then but my heart won't rid of those events, my heart fell apart when someone said his name.

I tried to kick his walls in when I was building mine, he broke me with every shout and every lie. I loved him and he "loved" me, no bond was stronger than ours.

The night that we reunited once more, and when we slept together, was an unforgettable night. Him and I got to free our love and frustrations with one another, we showed how much we loved and missed eachother. Every moan, every kiss, every move was real, everything was real...we were real.

As I lay here in the dark my brain replays moments from two years ago: The first and last time Harry and I taking a shower together, Our first kiss, Our first fight, Our first everything.

I love Harry with all my heart that it hurts, but my brain is telling me to run. It's telling me to forget and leave, to find someone who can take care of me in my time of need. I'm torn as all these thoughts begin to circle my mind.

  "C-Cam?" A voice says on the otherside of the door. The voice is familiar but also foreign to my ears.

I lost my voice so I can't say "come in" or anything for that matter. I'm too scared to get up so I throw a pillow at the door, surprisingly it makes a loud thud.