Dare to Fall

Chapter XLVI

I sat cross-legged on the floor outside Cayden's dad's office, my heart heavy with concern. I could hear the faint murmur of voices through the door, his dad's low and steady, Cayden's frustrated and short. I wasn't sure how long he'd be in there, but I didn't care about missing classes. Right now, he needed someone, and I wanted to be that person for him—like he's always been for me.

I didn't want us to fall into that cycle where we fight, make up, then kiss it all away. That wasn't real. If I wanted this relationship to last, if I wanted us to open up and stop hiding things from each other, I needed to be honest, patient, and steady for him, especially when things got tough.

It felt like I had been spending so much time trying to mend my own cracks, to patch up the parts of me that had been breaking for so long. But if Cayden was the one to break me, I wasn't sure if I'd have the strength to pick myself up again. And if I ended up breaking his heart? I didn't know what either of us would do.

The door creaked open, and I stood up quickly, dusting off my jeans. Cayden stepped out with a face like thunder, his body tense with frustration. He didn't even glance at me at first—just brushed past, storming toward the exit.

"So, are you just gonna leave me here?" I called after him, rolling my eyes at his stubbornness. I knew better than to take it personally, but it was hard not to feel hurt when he shut me out like this.

He stopped in his tracks and turned back to look at me, his eyes dark, his expression hard. "I told you to leave me alone, didn't I?"

I met his glare without flinching. "And do you really think I'm just going to listen to you every time you say that?"

I took a step toward him, my voice softening. "Cayden, I'm not here to push you or make you talk about something you don't want to. But you don't have to shut me out. I just... I just want you to know I'm here."

He turned away again, his body language still screaming "leave me alone," but I stayed where I was, trying to swallow the frustration bubbling up inside me. He was going through something, something he didn't want to talk about yet. And I could wait. I could give him space.

"I'll call you later," he muttered, as if it were an afterthought, a concession. "If I feel like it."

Relieved that I hadn't made things worse, I sighed and nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "Okay."

But as he disappeared through the exit, a part of me couldn't help but feel the weight of his words. If I feel like it. I rolled my eyes again, wondering if I'd ever understand what went on in his head.

***

Hours later, I was pacing my bedroom, my phone clutched in my hand. I'd been calling Cayden for two hours straight, leaving voicemail after voicemail, sending text after text. Each unanswered call only added to the knot of worry in my chest. I wasn't the clingy type, but right now, I needed to know where he was, that he was okay. What was he doing? Where had he gone?

My mind spiraled—images of him doing god-knows-what with god-knows-who flashed across my mind, but I forced them down. This wasn't about jealousy or insecurity. It was about him shutting me out, again, when I could feel he needed someone.

I grabbed my keys and rushed downstairs, not even pausing to think. The only places I could think to check were the spots that made him feel safe—places he'd taken me before when he needed to clear his head.

"I'm going out," I called over my shoulder as I reached the front door.

My mom appeared in the hallway, looking confused. "I thought we were going to dinner tonight?"