Dare to Fall

Chapter XLVIII

{Listen to Jessie Ware - Say You Love Me}

Maybe this was all just a dream. Any minute now, I'll wake up, and this whole nightmare will disappear. I've been telling myself that a lot lately, as if wishing could turn it all around. But no matter how much I try, reality doesn't shift. The weight of what's happened presses down on me. I've lost control of my life, and now, I'm just trying to survive.

I thought running away would help, but it hasn't. The truth is, you can't run away from what's inside your head. I thought he'd come after me. Some twisted part of me still hoped for that. Maybe if he'd followed me, it would mean something. That I mattered. But he didn't. And realizing I'd expected him to only made the hurt worse.

I can't describe the feeling anymore. There's no word for it. It's just this hollow ache, and I'm not even sure what to be sad about first—what happened last night, or everything that's been piling up for years.

But life doesn't stop just because your heart breaks. I drag myself out of bed, even though my body feels like lead. I force myself through the motions—brushing my teeth, splashing cold water on my face—because there's school, and I need to keep moving.

That's what people do, right? They keep moving.

The memories from last night flicker through my mind like broken images. Running away from a murderer, the man who killed my grandmother and my dad, and who's now after me and my mom. But instead of fear, all I feel is exhaustion. This isn't even the worst of it. I've survived worse. So why does this heartbreak feel heavier?

I throw on the first thing I grab—a black hoodie and some jeans—trying not to think about the fact that my mom's fiancé is my boyfriend's dad. Or was my boyfriend's dad. I don't know anymore. Everything's a mess.

Downstairs, I grab an apple, ready to leave without a word, but Mom stands in my way. "Hailey, you didn't eat last night," she says. Her voice is soft, but there's an edge to it, and it makes me pause. She reaches out, gently gripping my arm, preventing me from walking out the door.

"What's going on with you?" she asks, sounding more hurt than angry. "You've been ignoring me."

I pull my arm away. "What's going on with me?" I repeat, barely holding back the tears. "The fact that you're marrying Liam isn't a big deal for you, is it?" My voice cracks, bitterness seeping through every word.

She looks taken aback. "I didn't even know Liam's son was your boyfriend—"

"Exactly," I cut her off, my frustration spilling over. "You didn't know because you're too busy to care about what's happening in my life."

I storm out, slamming the door behind me. Tears blur my vision as I walk toward the bus stop. I wipe them away quickly, trying to pull myself together. I hate crying in public.

I sit down on the bench, hugging my arms around myself. Everything feels unreal, like I'm watching my life unravel from a distance. I hear a car pull up and look up to see Cayden stepping out. Great. Just what I need.

"What are you doing here?" I snap, standing up to leave.

"Hailey, please," he says, his voice heavy with guilt. "Let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain." I don't stop walking. He follows me anyway. "You knew, Cayden. You knew about them, and you didn't say anything. How am I supposed to trust you after that?"

"I didn't want to hurt you," he says, his words feeling like a weak excuse. "I was going to tell you, but I didn't know how."

I stop, turning to face him. "You didn't know how?" I ask, my voice shaking. "Or you didn't care enough to try?"

His silence is answer enough. I start walking again, faster this time, but he grabs my arm just as I step off the curb, pulling me back before a car can hit me. I freeze, staring at him. "Did you ever love me?" I whisper, barely able to get the words out.

For a second, he just looks at me, his mouth opening as if to speak, but no words come. That's when I know. I pull my arm free, feeling the tears start again.

"Please, Hailey," he calls after me. "Just let me explain everything. Meet me for coffee. Just give me a chance."

I hesitate, my anger warring with the part of me that still wants to believe in him. "Fine," I say finally. "But only because I need coffee. That's it."

I keep walking, leaving him behind, trying not to think about what might happen next.

***

At school, Amelia is waiting by my locker. "Hey," she greets me with a smile, but her expression changes when she sees my face. "Oh my God, have you been crying?"

I don't answer, just grab my books, hoping she won't press me.

"Hailey," she says, her voice softening. "What happened?"

I glance at her, and that's all it takes. The tears spill over again, and before I know it, she's pulling me into a hug.

"Let's skip the first period," she whispers. "Come on, let's talk."

We slip into the bathroom, and once the last girl leaves, I start talking. It all comes out in a flood—my mom, Cayden, everything. By the time I'm done, Amelia looks like she doesn't know what to say.

"So your mom is marrying Cayden's dad, and you two are... what, step-siblings now?" she asks, trying to wrap her head around it.

I nod, wiping at my face. "Yeah, and he couldn't even tell me. What's the point in fighting for something when it was a lie from the start?"

"Cayden's a jerk," Amelia says, crossing her arms. "But... are you sure he doesn't love you?"

"I don't know," I admit. "He's going to explain, but it doesn't matter. If he loved me, he wouldn't have lied."

Amelia gives me a sympathetic look. "Maybe hearing him out isn't such a bad idea. But Hailey, if this doesn't end well, you have to let it go. I don't want to see you get hurt again."

***

Later, I walk into the coffee shop, and there he is—Cayden, waiting. I sit down across from him, trying to keep my expression neutral. He orders me my favorite, an iced caramel, but I don't say thank you.

"Let's just talk," I say, cutting to the chase.

He takes a deep breath. "I didn't know at first that my dad was dating your mom. I swear, when I found out, I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to hurt you."

I sit there, listening, my anger simmering just beneath the surface. "So, what, you thought hiding it would make it hurt less?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"I was scared, okay?" he admits. "I didn't want to lose you."

"You lost me the moment you lied."

He looks down, his fingers fidgeting with his cup. "Hailey... I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I do care about you. I—"

I cut him off. "Do you love me?"

The silence that follows is deafening. He opens his mouth, closes it, and then says nothing. That's all I need to hear.

I stand up, my heart shattering all over again. "You know what's funny?" I say, my voice cracking. "I thought you were the one person I could trust. Turns out I was just as stupid as everyone else."

I walk out of the coffee shop, not looking back.