1001 LOVE STORIES(book Of Oneshots)

running. (19)

Word count: 1387

I sit up in the bed my knees pulled into my chest crying softly to not wake up the man I loved.

He sleeps peacefully next to me completely unaware of my nocturnal sleeping habits.

I think back to my teenage years were love was simple. Where if your happy then it's love and when your not it isn't. I never expected to be the one so torn on leaving.

My brain screams that I needed to leave. There's nothing left here but hurt but I knew that wasn't true.

I always told myself that it was ok to leave that only idiots stay. So why couldn't I leave. I think back to all those one time things.

You're not some bitch Teven you think people will see you as a victim of domestic violence. Man up.

His words hit me in the chest and I pull myself into a closer ball trying to mask my voice.

I try to talk myself into taking those steps away but my brain brings up those calm moments before the storm. Waking up to his warm smile.

It's moments like these when it hits me how beautiful you are and how lucky I am.

It was moments like that that kept me shackled to the threshold.

Teven. I miss you. I-I can't manage without you. I don't know how. I don't want to know how to live without me. Please. I'll get better I'll get help. I swear.

If you ever think about leaving me. I'll bash your head into a wall and burn this house down with you chained to a tub of gasoline. Do you understand me. You worthless piece of shit?

My tears hit the sheets.

You don't ever hear about guys being abused domestically. No one cares.

Don't bother us with what the hells going on in your home. You're a guy for crying out loud. This isn't anything but a fight you lost.

Mr. Davis no sunglasses. Oh Tim's besting you ass again. Learn to fight back. You're a guy.

Why couldn't people see. It wasn't that easy. There was no fighting back. I couldn't fight him.

Good morning Sunshine. I made you breakfast. Eggs bacon and Pink pancakes. I even cut up strawberries, so you can rub it in the faces of your single friends on Facebook.

Who gives you the right to question where the he'll I go. Are you my mom? This is how things work. I leave and you shut the he'll up and deal with it.

I cry more bitting into my lip to keep from sobbing.

I guess people were right. Men don't get abused. I had the ability to fight back. I'm a man for crying out loud.

What ever he does to me are the things I allow. I could fight back. Couldn't I.

I remember the fear that came every time he would be late because I knew he was getting hammered. Knowing it was a matter of time before he'd come home and beat me for any imperfection he found.

I remember all those times I'd clean the whole house, cook him his favorite foods, set the TV to his favorite stations. All that proved to be pointless.

I also remember those times when he came home on time as I cooked for him. He places his head on my shoulder. Kissing my cheek. I remember those smiles that never failed to make my heart flutter.

I remember his gentle hands touch my skin as we made love.

I remember his tight grasp as he fucked me.