1001 LOVE STORIES(book Of Oneshots)

Blue Raspberry (51)

Word count:2207

I drive back home trying not to think about what happened.

It had been eighteen years and know here I was crying over someone who I didn't care for. Someone I didn't know.

A stranger.

I could no longer navigate the freeway I pull over to the side and lay my head on the steering wheel.

He's a stranger.

I think back to what he told me.

"I still love you, I know it's eighteen years late, but I love you. You can come back, and let me take care of you."

I'm not a dumb kid anymore.

I don't want a cute little romance.

I was married, I had a job. I was happy.

I'm not some homo. That was burned out of me eighteen years ago.

While he was having fun, living life, having sex with men, I was being trained.

Trained not to miss him, trained not to love him.

I'm happy. I tell myself.

I'm married, I'm happy, I'm fine.

I miss him

I think as tears start to feel my eyes.

God I missed him, I missed him so much.

I missed those quiet moments, Those sweet moments where it was just us.

Its ok, its ok. I just need to be trained.I need to be punished. I notice the abandoned car about a little ways down the road and I take a deep breath before moving it into drive and stumping down on the gas starting the car to start and speed off to the car and hitting it and I black out.

I wake up in pain and I take a deep breath. Pain was good.

Sharp pain traveled up my left arm and chest.

"You idiot." I hear the last voice I want to.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" He screams and I sigh.

I'm a grown man.

"Oh calm down I'm fine. I need to get home." I say sternly. I just need to not look at him. I just needed to stay clear of those green eyes.

"You crashed on purpose didn't you?" He asks and I sigh.

"Why would I crash my car on purpose? I was thinking about how I would tell my wife that I didn't bring my son back and got distracted." I tell him sitting up but still avoiding him.

He was a stranger.

Just a stranger.

Someone I used to know.

"You're still tearing yourself up about this." He says angrily.

"No I'm not. I have a eighteen year old marriage. I'm happy. I don't have any regrets." I tell him and he only sits next to me with his back to me.

"I do." He says quietly.

"I have one major regret. I regret that still keeps me up at night. A regret that ruined, movie theaters, and anything blue raspberry. A regret that ruined listening to music and sleeping with the lights off." He says in the pain in my chest doubles.

"I regret not turning back for you. I regret not taking you with me." He says and I turn away from him trying to ignore the pain I felt.

"And I know I told myself I was waiting until I was stable to go get you but I knew I was afraid. I was terrified. I was so scared that you would hate me for leaving." He tells me and I feel the first tear fall.