1001 LOVE STORIES(book Of Oneshots)

Object

Word count:3030

*This story contains Molestation, and rape triggers so. Yeah. If you feel like this will an anyway make you sad, depressed or bring up old scars feel free to skip. I almost didn't want to post this but fuck it. Here's object

For as long as I remember I've always been an object of pleasure, Starting back when I was too little to know that playing doctor with the big kids was wrong.

My first thought was that I was a boy and it was OK for boys to touch you because we're boys. I was taught about no no squares and stranger danger. I knew that if an adult tried to touch me then it was wrong. I new not to take candy from strangers or help look for puppies or go to trips to the stores.

Actually that started when I was five. I had almost went to the store with a man during a family outing that I didn't know was my dad's brother. I got scolded and I felt more stupid then in trouble and I still remember that as a reminder not to do anything stupid.

But it not the shady men in white vans you have to worry about. Its the people that you're closest too. The people you know could and would never hurt you. Right?

It started with my cousin. A few years older than me. When I was six He was eleven and being around him meant playing games like man hunt and football. He was the first person not to treat me like a whiny little kid and I wanted to be around him all the time.

To this day I blame myself. But I was a child.

I didn't know all those times he touched me that it wasn't right. All those times we did things it was something more than boys being boys. But between us having to be alone and him claiming he was teaching me how to wrestle. I knew we were wrong but the child in me wanted to be close to him. Wanted to keep playing man hunt, keep playing football. Keep being a big kid. So I never told.

By the time I was nine this was the norm. And than there were more cousins who wanted to wrestle. More brother in laws more friends and it was just normal. I played dumb even after I knew what was going on. After I knew what I was doing. I spent a lot of times pretending not to notice and even more times pretending to be sleep.

Those days became a blur, I began to distance myself from that personality.

My childhood was filled with two step brothers, three cousins, two god brothers. But we were just boys. None left that much of a lasting mark. What was oral sex and touching. I knew it was wrong but it was just another fact of life.

By the time I was ten I was a pro at doctor and new all the darkest places to hide during hide and seek. But each person that came and went were never grown. We were all kids. Being dumb.

But He was worse. He was the one who liked to push me. Force me. He didn't care if I fought him. I was ten and he was sixteen. I learned to hid the bruises he left and showed his games to anyone else who wanted to play.

He was close to my father. The watched sports together, hung out, my dad taught him to play cards and gave him his first beer. Not realizing that he had begin to hold this over my head.

Your dad loves me, he'll believe me.

And I had no choice but to believe him.

He had girlfriends and I hoped that he would eventually stop for her. But He didn't like girls. He liked boys and I was his toy to play with whenever he wanted.

Soon He seemed to move in with us and people begin to notice. He got sloppy basin. He didn't care if someone saw and they did. Starting with his little sister only months younger then me.