Bryce Loski's Point of View
"Hey, grandpa! How was your day with Naomi?" I sarcastically asked. My grandfather sat down beside me, "Don't you think you were a little hard on her? I mean-- she was only trying to help and you just started yelling at her. She's a nice girl! She's very kind and very smart. She's spoken more to me than your father has all week. Plus, she reminds me of your grandmother."
I sighed a little, he was right. I hate when I'm wrong. But, I'm always wrong when it comes to Naomi. Maybe I should get over it? Get over myself. I'm just so angry with myself for doing this shit to her and when I see her I'm reminded of my wrongdoings. I shouldn't be mad at her. I'm not even mad at her! I'm just so mad at myself.
I looked over to my grandfather, "Yeah, you're right. I feel absolutely terrible. I just-- I messed up, Grandpa. And what makes it worse is.. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her. Madly in love with her."
A smile grew on his face as he let out a laugh, "I knew it." I raised a brow, "I'm sorry?"
"I could tell you love her. Just like I could tell she loves you. You can tell by the eyes." He explained, chuckling a little. My heart began to pound, I began to feel some fragment of hope.
"You really think she loves me?" I asked. He nodded, assuring me.
Jesus, that's the most wonderful thing someones ever said to me. The most wonderful thing I've ever felt was hearing him say that. Well, for the time being. Maybe it just feels so amazing cause I've been feeling like shit for weeks.
Hearing him say that just solidified how I feel about her. I love her. I love her, I love her, I love her, I love her! I'm so in love with her. So madly and insanely in love with her. I have been for so long now! Why couldn't I tell, before? I suddenly feel like I've known for years.
When was it? Was it when her father died? Was it when our moms met up for coffee and we just messed around before falling asleep? Was it when we entered middle school and I saw her wear a dress to picture day, only because her mom made her? Was it when I looked over at her in class one day to find the sun was shining on her and she looked so undeniably beautiful? Was it when she presented her project on ladybugs to class and I couldn't pay attention to what she was saying, rather than focus on her? Was it when we rode our bikes to school together for the first time? When we first found the factory and made it our own? When we first went to the movies together? When I first heard her sing Elvis? The first time we sat and watched the sunset?
When? It's been too long to remember. Maybe it was even farther back and in each of those scenarios, I was already in love with her. It's sad I'm not sure. Only because it's been so long. I've been in love with her for so long and yet, I've said nothing!
Jesus, only cowards do that shit. Am I that much of a coward? I know I have been recently, but for this long, I've been denying my true feelings for her. God, is it too late.
I turned to my grandpa, "Grandpa, tell me and don't lie. Is it too late to get her?" I asked. I hope not! I desperately need her. If I lost her, I'd go mad. I wouldn't sleep, or eat or do anything for that matter. Just as I've been existing since that night at homecoming.
Who am I without her? I know who I am, yes. But she's apart of that. She makes me, me. I'm a better person with her than I am without. I need her. It may sound desperate and maybe she'd think less of me if she knew how much I needed her, but I don't care. Cause when you love someone, it's them above you. I haven't been treating her that way, but I should.
My grandfather chuckled, placing his hand softly on my shoulder. His smile grew softly, "It's never too late."
