B. Loski's Point of View
I just need to go somewhere to think. Reflect on everything. I should go to the spot. She won't be there, right? She hasn't been for weeks. Why would she go now? I should be good. I'll just go there and sit. Maybe write another letter. One she'll never read. But, I guess there's something therapeutic about it. It would be mortifying if anyone but her read them but in all honesty, I don't give a shit. I've already embarrassed myself enough.
So, I hopped on my bike and rode to our spot. My heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach once I saw Naomi's bike outside. What should I do? Should I go up there? Should I go home? She said she didn't want to talk to me, I guess I'll have to respect that. Dear god, I wish I could go up there. But she wants space. And I want her to be happy. So I guess I've gotta give it to her.
I hopped on my bike once more and turned around. I began to pedal before I realized I didn't want to go back home. I can't concentrate there. Maybe I should just go somewhere else. The sun will be set soon. I've gotta go somewhere where there's light. Where is there to go this late?
--
"Hey man." Jacob greeted me. I smiled softly, "Hey man. Long time no talk." I chuckled. Jacob shook his head, "Hasn't been that long."
I entered Jacob's house and followed him down to the basement, where I sat on the couch and Jacob lie down on his bed. Jacob looked over at me, "How you holdin' up man?" He asked.
"Holding on by a thread." I bluntly stated, looking up at the ceiling. I sighed, "I wish there was something I could've done to avoid all of this. I've made a big mess."
Jacob laughed softly, "We all have our moments."
Sure we do. We all screw up. But this bad? With the most amazing human being to ever walk this planet, well at least in my eyes. It's not too far off anyways. She is this amazing person. So astonishing. I can't get over it. I don't understand how someone could be so... how do I say it... reasonable? That isn't the right word. There are no words to explain Naomi.
She is just so... so... ugh! I can't even explain it. She's so sweet and kind and generous and so much more than that. She is so forgiving. Hell, look how bad I've screwed up and she still is as kind to me as one could be. How could someone be so ideally kind?
"In my moments, I screw everything up and screw everyone over." I laughed at myself. Jacob scoffed, "Nah, man. It wasn't that bad!" He spoke in a sincere tone.
I sat up, raising a brow at Jacob, "It was that bad." Jacob shrugged, "Okay, maybe it was, but-- my point is, it may've been bad but it's Naomi. And it's you. She's too damn nice and she cares about you too much. Plus, you two are absolutely in love."
"We are not!" I scoffed, pouting. Jacob raised a brow at me in return. I let out a groan, "Okay, maybe I love her. But that doesn't mean she loves me. Therefore, we are not in love." I stated sternly. Jacob smiled, "If you say so, man."
If we were in love, we would be together, right? At least, that's how I thought it was supposed to go. Two people in love are supposed to be together, right? If she loved me, we would be together. And we aren't together. So she doesn't love me. Everyone is just lying to me. Maybe to let me down easily. Maybe they pity me. Either way, Naomi doesn't love me. If she did, I'd lose my mind. But she doesn't. Maybe it's time I let her go.
"What now, man?" I ask, referring to the whole situation. Jacob thought momentarily, "I guess it's really up to you, man. I know that's no help, but... it really is. If you want her, you gotta do something. Despite her wishes. Otherwise, you might just drift apart and lose her. And dear god, I know you and that'd kill you."
"Damn right it would."
