B. Loski's Point of View
"Man, you're really killing our vibe. It's a drag." Jacob commented with a loud groan. I shrugged, "I don't give a shit." Garret laughed at my response, "Come on dude, don't be so.." He trailed off.
I sat up, "So what? Sad? I can't help it. I'm angry with myself." I confessed. Normally I would've never said anything and just pretended I was fine. But, I can't, especially when I'm in this much pain. Cause I'm not fine. It really fucking hurts. Physically and emotionally. I wish there was something I could do about it.
"Dude, chill." Jacob chuckled, holding his hands up in defense. I shot up from the couch, "Don't fucking tell me to chill man. I won't just 'chill'!" I yelled.
Jacob stood up from his chair, "What the fuck is your issue, Loski?" He questioned. I clenched my jaw, "Because. You fucking pressured me. You pressured me into saying those things about Naomi. Which weren't true! You have made me into the mini-version of you!" I angrily yelled. It's not his fault. This is your fault.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jacob questioned me, walking towards me slowly with his brow raised. I took a deep breathe, "A selfish, arrogant, asshole."
Jacob shook his head, "Shouldn't have said that Loski." I scoffed, "What're you gonna do Jacob? Spread a rumor about me?" I teased, pushing him. "That's it." Jacob exclaimed, pushing me down onto the floor. I kicked him off of me and began to hit him.
"Stop it you, idiots!" Garret yelled, grabbing my arms and pulling me off of Jacob. He shoved me back onto the ground, "What has gotten into you Bryce?"
Jacob sat up, staring at me with a harsh glare, "What the fuck man?" My eyes widened in shock, what the hell did I just do. I stood up off the floor, the world around me spinning. "I'm- I'm so sorry. I- I" I began to ramble, but stutters took place between my every word. I quickly ran up the stairs and out of Jacob's house.
What is your issue, rang in my ears. You are an idiot. First, you spread a rumor about this girl. Who you're crazy about. Who means the world to you. Then, you hit your friend. Maybe it's a friendship based on popularity, but you're still friends. You're a damned idiot, Bryce Loski.
I walked to my spot. Well, that's what it is now. Since Naomi is never there, it's just me. I wouldn't be surprised if she never came back to the spot ever again. I wouldn't blame her. I mean, I didn't get a rumor about me spread by her, but it still hurts to be there. Becuase it reminds me of her and what I did to her. How I hurt her. And her face, utter disappointment as her eyes teared up.
I still went anyways, because it did remind me of her. There were more good memories than bad. Like when we'd sit up here and show each other the new music we found. Just sitting and watching the sunset or watching the sunrise. Her helping me with my homework. Us playing games up here. Looking over at her. Oh my, she's so gorgeous. It sucks that she has my heart, but I broke hers.
I drowned in my thoughts as I reached the spot. I sat down and reached over to the notebook. I flipped it open to the first empty page I could find. I began to scribble, my sloppy writing filling every line on the paper. I sighed as my hand grew tense from the amount of writing I had just done.
I read back over it, realizing how stupid I sounded. However, I didn't just ball up the paper and throw it into a corner, I meant it. I meant every word. Every single word I wrote. Just like all the other notes I've written over the past few days. I stood and taped the paper onto the wall. I took a step back, looking over all the pieces of paper.
It'd be a lot easier to talk to her, I think to myself.
She doesn't want to hear you.
