Bryce Loski's Point Of ViewWeeks have gone by. And days of work going along with them. I finally did it. I remodeled our space to how we exactly wanted it. Following the exact blueprints.
Now there's an actual roof and not just a tarp. I built up the final wall and put a window, once that can be opened so we can watch the sunset. There are lights hanging on the wall as well as more pictures and the stereo rests on a shelf I made.
There are blankets and pillows on the floor to make a make-do couch. And a small bookcase, for CD's, notebooks and Naomi's books. And lastly, the notes I have written for over a month are plastered on the walls. I just pray Naomi will come and see this place. And see the notes.
I sat down on the blankets, letting out a deep breathe. I sat there for a minute before getting up and walking back home.
I entered my house with a smile, my grandpa quickly noticed. I sat down beside him, "It looks good. Pretty sure we're done."
"I'm proud of you kiddo!" My grandfather cheered, "Need some money for anything else? Maybe fill it up with some snacks?"
I smiled, "You'd do that?"
My grandfather laughed, "Yes. I'm quite the romantic." I chuckled. I let out a sigh, "I just wish she'd go there already and see it."
Weeks and Naomi hasn't been there. Not once. Never at sunset. Never at sunrise. Sunset was her favorite as well, but she had missed ever one for all this time. Maybe not missed it entirely, just she wasn't here with me. And I wasn't there with her. And I wish I was more than anything.
It's odd how you notice things differently when you lose someone that means the world to you, and that she does. Damn, I miss her. And I know me renovating isn't going to fix what I did, but I hope it'll get me a step closer.
I fucking love her. And I miss her. Jesus, how I miss her. I took her for granted and now she's all I want. She's all I ever wanted. But now she's gone. And she probably hates me. Dear god, I hope she doesn't hate me!
What would I do if the one person in the world I love, hated me? I looked over at my grandfather, "What do I do now?"
"We can only hope that time really heals." He confessed.
"For me, as time goes on I only get more and more hurt."