Eternal Embers #TheWattys2018

Set up

I lay in bed the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, mainly the light as the bulb hangs, naked from not having a shade for it. The light coming in from the window casts two shadows which extend across the ceiling before fading out.

The house is silent, there's no activity or sign of life except my small breaths and urge to close my eyes to go back to sleep.

I can hear the birds, that I can here. They are singing and chirping a tune, no doubt in content as my neighbour, Ron, an elderly old man often places food out for them. In fact, he dedicated his garden to the birds, giving them everything they would need from unlimited food, bird boxes, bird tables, and if one should ever arrive injured? He even had a small shed to fix them up before releasing them again.. The man was an angel. Looking after Gods creatures without a care on how much money he had plied into it.

Raking my hand over my face, I sigh and turn onto my side to stare at the clock.

12 weeks, 1 day.

The counting was my only way to fix myself. I counted the days and sometimes even the hours as a reminder that I am alive. That the black abyss I fell into 8 weeks ago. Where I didn't move from the spare room at my mom's for over a month. Was now a mere memory, scorched in my mind.

I survived.

I was able to breathe.

Even if I didn't want to do either...

My mom would try to encourage me to eat, tell me it's the only way to ease the pain in my chest. But how could it be? How could it help with anything? Nothing was the same! Nothing was helping the fact that myself and him, were no longer together.

That's when Ella came in, with Jackson. She set him down on the end of the bed in his car seat, placed the bag down on the floor and left.

In fact so did my mom and Brian.

Jackson cried. He cried for a few minutes before the noise tore my mind in half and I quickly picked him up and settled him in the bed beside me. His crying stopped almost instantly as he looked at me with wide eyes and tugged  at my hair with a chubby cheeked smile.

I would memorise his face, the blueness of his eyes and the little nose before taking his hand and kissing the back of it gently making him squeak with excitement.

They left me all afternoon, and when Ella finally came back, she apparently found Jackson cocooned in my arms as he slept on my chest and I, myself was asleep.

We bonded that day. From one confused human to another. Only he had no clue about the cruel and harsh realities of this world. At least he didn't know yet...

The only way I can describe that month, is an investigation with no night vision, you're left to fumble around in the dark, with your hands out in front of you as you take cautious steps. I also think it was a kind of depression, it probably still is, because I sometimes struggle to remember the details of that period.

Sometimes I didn't want too either...

I turn my eyes to my phone, before falling into the routine. I pick it up, look to see if he's messaged me, before letting another piece of my soul crumble away.

I'm just about to put it down when a message from Ella comes through.

{Are you awake yet babycakes? X}

{I am, just laying here contemplating on taking over the world. X}

{Mina Brooks, World leader. I like it. Tell me, your majesty, will I get a seat on the top table?}