Consuming

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I couldn't breathe again.

He was consuming my every thought and it was beginning to show as I returned food back to the kitchen asking which table I had in my hands. But much to my surprise, nobody said a word. A few customers gave me the impatient sigh or look but I think I pulled it together... Kind of.

The bar was on full swing, every table was full, Alice had arrived with her consistent apologies and thank you's once she realised I had set up for her.

Now she was making sure I didn't screw up the evening.

Thanks to him...

Every time the door went, my head almost spun off my shoulders to check if it was him or not. It wasn't and a small spike of disappointment stabbed into my heart.

"Mina?" Ruby called making me look over to her. "Take 5."

My shoulders slumped and I looked over to Alice who gave a reassuring smile letting me know she would cover my tables for me.

As I'm stepping out the back and towards the office door, Ruby comes down the hallway.

"Hey, listen, I can see something is wrong, if you want 15 minutes, I'm cool with that. I'll help Alice out, if there's a problem..."

"There's not." I insist.

"You sure?"

I nod "Positive. Just a little chaotic tonight."

She smiles "I know, god I love Fridays! But take a moment and come back when you're ready."

"Thank you."

"No problem." She responds before hot footing it back to the bar.

I escape out the back door and allow it to slam shut behind me, looking up at the stars, I take a deep breath before releasing it into the air with a sigh.  My mind is jumbled and I know that to make any real progress in any aspect of tonight then I would need to clear my skull and organise the mess into piles so that I could deal with them at a later time.

The cooler air nips at my legs and I have to wiggle them to get the blood moving as I try to keep warm.

Desert, that's all you can really see from here, that and Ruby's log cabin sat out the back. It was a cute little place with potted plants outside, although I found it hard to believe she potted them herself. Ruby wasn't the green fingered type.

I sit on an empty beer keg and massage my neck feeling the knots all twisted. Maybe I should get a massage done tomorrow? It might help with the chaos in my mind... But so would speaking to Zak but he hasn't showed as of yet.

After a few minutes of being whirlwind of emotions, I stand up and stretch out my body before heading back in with a clearer mind.

After a few minutes of being whirlwind of emotions, I stand up and stretch out my body before heading back in with a clearer mind

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I lean against the bar watching three patrons singing the national anthem with a stomach full of tequila. None of them were in tune, none of them knew how to salute properly and none of them could stand still.

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