Three weeks has passed after that night. He managed to get back to Matsukawa and Hanamaki without them noticing that he was crying, or maybe they noticed but they choose not to ask him and just continued their small party. That was also the last time he saw and received any message from Iwaizumi. It hurts, the pain that he felt the past months came back and it doubled. Kogane noticed it, of course, he would ask Oikawa what's wrong but he would answer 'nothing's wrong' and would change the topic. He tried to be cheerful so that Kogane would not worry. He was currently alone inside his room, laying on the bed and staring on the ceiling, he haven't eaten since this morning and he's starting to get hungry. He got up and went to open his fridge but there's nothing to eat so he decided to go out and buy something at the nearest convenience store.
"Ahh, this is the first time I took a night walk since I got a car." He said as he walked the streets that are lighted by the streetlamps. He sighed and put his hands in the pockets of his jacket. When he got inside the store he bought cup noodles and eat it there. He sighed as he look outside, he haven't contacted Kogane. After eating he decided to stop and stay at the park for a while. He looked around, the place is kinda dim , he walked towards the swing and sat there, gently moving the swing and looked up at the sky that are full of stars.
"Iwa-chan..." he whispered closing his eyes and when he opened it he noticed a familiar person passing. "Iwa-chan.." he immediately got up and run towards him, grabbing his arm.
Iwaizumi looked at him shocked. "What are you doing here? It's already late. You should go home." he coldly said, removing Oikawa's hold but Oikawa grabbed him again.
"No..."
"Oikawa let go." He said with a stern voice.
"NO! " Oikawa shouted looking at him.
"Why?" Iwaizumi took a deep breath and looked at Oikawa.
"I don't want you to ignore me.." Oikawa whispered.
"Why can't I? What about you? You ignored me for a month, you ignored my messages, my calls. When we arrived back the way you approach me changed. You keep distancing yourself from me." Iwaizumi is starting to loose his cool. "I was so glad that you went to the beach because I thought that I will be able to talk with you again but you know what? I was wrong. Because every time I will approach you, you will immediately go to that guy.You would avert your eyes when I look at you. I really, really want to fucking talk to you but I can't! And it's because of that guy! Oh, was he the reason why you distanced yourself to me? why you changed the way you approach me? You've changed Oikawa." He sneered shaking off Oikawa's hold.
Oikawa looked at him, every words that he said pierced his heart. It hurts, he wants to cry but he stopped himself. He let go of his arm. "You're wrong."
" Then tell me! Tell me the reason why the fuck you're distancing yourself from me!" He snapped.
"Do you really want to know the reason why?! IT'S BECAUSE IT HURTS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HUH! IT FREAKING HURTS EVERYTIME I SEE YOU WITH HER! IT HURTS SEEING YOU BEING HAPPY WITH HER! THAT TIME WHEN WE MET AT THE STORE AND YOU SAID YOU'RE DATING SOMEONE , DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FELT ?! MY WORLD FUCKING SHATTERED!" Oikawa shouted, clenching his hands into fists and hits Iwaizumi's chest. "IT FUCKING HURTS IWA-CHAN! BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING , THAT'S WHY, I DECIDED TO DISTANCE MYSELF, I WANT TO MOVE ON, I WANT TO FORGET THIS FEELINGS, BECAUSE I KNOW, I FUCKING KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T RETURN MY FEELINGS FOR YOU." He started crying.
Iwaizumi stood there,taken aback by Oikawa's words. He can't say any words at what he heard. He looked at the man crying on his chest, when he was about to hold him, Oikawa pushed him away and ran. He stared at Oikawa's figure until it disappeared from his sight. He then fall on the ground, covering his face and cried.
I said it. It's all over now. We can't get back on being friends. Oikawa thought and ran as fast as he could, tears are blurring his vision and caused for him to stumble on the ground but he got up, run again and when he get back he immediately get inside his room. Shouting, and crying his heart out until he fell asleep.
The next day Oikawa woke up with swollen eyes , headache and dry mouth from crying all night long. He laid there for a minute before getting up. He took a medicine and drank lots of water and after that he took a bath. He stood under the shower, feeling the water flowing through his skin. It still hurts but because of what happened last night, the pain he felt in his heart lessened, maybe because he already said what he wanted to say. When he got out from bath and changed to his uniform he ate breakfast and looked at his phone, there are messages and missed calls from Kogane. He's been ignoring him for two weeks now, and he's starting to feel guilty. He said yes to him, hoping that his feeling for Iwaizumi will disappear and will be replaced with feeling for Kogane but he failed, he still like Iwaizumi. So he decided that he will talk to him, and break their relationship. He doesn't want to use Kogane anymore, and hurt him.
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Iwaizumi still can't forgot what happened last night. Oikawa's words keep on repeating on his mind. And then he realized something, the time when Oikawa went home during the wedding reception, that time when he saw Oikawa's messy appearance the next day was all his doing. He was the reason why Oikawa cried, he was the reason why Oikawa changed and distanced himself. I'm so stupid, why didn't I noticed it sooner.
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After dismissing his class, he decided to talk to Kogane. When he went to the faculty and didn't saw him there he went to the art room. There he is, sitting in front of a blank canvas. He took a deep breath before knocking to get his attention.
"Hey."
"Hey."
He slightly smiled at him, closing the door before walking towards him.
"How are you? I miss you." Kogane said hugging him.
Oikawa hugged him back. "Shion-kun...I have something to say..." He said looking at him.
"Sure what is it?" Kogane asked.
"I, I'm sorry, but I think I think I can't continue being with you." He said looking down.
Kogane looked at him confused. "Why? What did I do? Did I do something wrong? Tooru please tell me."
Oikawa looked up and saw the pained expression of Kogane. "No," he shook his head. "You didn't do anything." he smiled, caressing his cheeks. "I'm the one who's wrong. I'm using you, hoping that,hoping that if I go out with you I can move one from Iwaizumi. But I guess I'm wrong, I still love him.I'm sorry, I don't want to cause you further pain." He apologized.
Kogane hugged him tightly, he understand, no need for him to fight back and force Oikawa. He hugged him and Oikawa hugged him back .
"If, if that's your choice, I'll let you go." Kogane said with a smile. "I'm really happy for that one month we spent together. Always remember that I love you."
"Thank you." Tears flow on Oikawa's cheeks. Kogane wiped it with his thumbs.
"Can, can I kiss you for the last time?" Kogane whispered and Oikawa nodded.Kogane closed the gap between them and kissed Oikawa passionately, savoring the last moment that he will be able to hold Oikawa like this. He broke the kiss and smiled at Oikawa. "Thank you." he said hugging him again , but this time it was just a quick hug.
"Thank you too Shion-kun. I, I need to go now." He said, bowing and left the room. When Oikawa left , Kogane sat on the chair in front of the blank canvas as he cried.
YOU ARE READING
Paper Hearts (IwaOi)
FanfictionIwaizumi got married to a girl and Oikawa was there to witness their wedding.
