Exiled

Jacobi 21

Bless me Father for I have sinned, I've done a lot of messed up things in the last few days since I last prayed, I used my cousins toothbrush to clean my shoes, when he was gone I took his suitcase out back and checked or roaches because I know poor people carry roaches with them everywhere, I cheated on my boyfriend three times, I had sex in the church bathroom with said boyfriend, I lied to my best friend, and I ran at least five redlights on my way to confess. Despite my confident demeanor I was very religious and made it a point to always confess my sins before a session with my counselor, I walked into the building and like always she was waiting for me; Joy..... she was probably the only reason I haven't put a bullet in my mouth yet. After signing in we walking into her office and I sat there waiting for her to start talking.... even though it was my session I needed some words of encouragement before I got into the deep stuff.

"Jacobi.... whenever you're ready." She said in that quiet yet commanding voice of hers and I let out a low sigh before I started to talk.

"I.... I almost killed him, we were at church and you know how people gather outside once church is over and he walked over to my family to have a conversation.... he made a point to stand next to me and he made it a point to put his hand on my shoulder..... and he made it a point to make sure I felt his dick when he turned to walk away." I said feeling myself getting angry all over again.

"Jacobi..... you should really tell your parents, holding this in and letting it fester isn't helping the situation. You have to see this pastor every Sunday and from our previous sessions it seems like he's getting more and more brazen with his advances and the longer you let this go on without saying anything the more dangerous this situation can possibly become." Joy said and I nodded.

"I hear you but....... I don't wanna lose my dad, if I tell him he'll kill Pastor Teagues and I'm not joking my dad will literally kill him in front of everybody just to prove a point and my mom..... well I don't know how she'll react she might side with that dude if we're being completely honest. I just wanna handle this my own way." I said looking into her eyes.

"Jacobi.... I'm not going to force you to tell and what is spoken between us stay between us but you should really have a little more faith in your parents. They have too much to lose to risk throwing it all away over that scumbag pastor...." Joy said.

"How do you tell your dad that your pastor has been forcing himself on you since you were twelve? How do you tell your parents that those after-school tutoring session that their Pastor suggested were filled with unholy things and threats that if I told anybody he'd kill my entire family? How do you tell them that he keeps......." I didn't want to continue and Joy realized that.

"How are things with Jerell?" Joy asked changing the subject.

"It's going but.... it's not the same, there's no spark like the sex is great but other than that..... he's a good dude though and I really don't deserve him.... but like I said he's not......" I trailed off and Joy laughed quietly.

"He's not Victor.... or August." She finished and I nodded.

"Victor is with Tripp and he's coo but our relationship it's like...... he was the type of best friend that you feel like you should try to have a relationship with and it didn't work but that's still my boy, though there are still some lingering feelings there but I'm trying to figure out if they're romantic feelings or just friendly feelings. Now with August.... that nigga has an iron grip on my heart, like he annoys me to no end but I'd be lying if I said when I see him my heart doesn't try to jump out my chest to get back to its rightful owner." I said.

"To me it sound's like your heart has already decided..... have you ever thought about telling Quran about Pastor Teague?" Joy asked and I smirked a little, she was always trying to slide those little curveballs in there to catch me off guard but I've gotten better at catching them.

"Quran hates me.... he's always been jealous of the life I live so I doubt he'll even care, hell he'll probably assume I threw myself at Pastor Teague." I said bitterly.

"You may be wrong about your cousin.... maybe you should try to see things through his eyes and take off your superiority glasses. Before we end our session I wanna leave I wanna pose this question to you; How do you measure the worth of a man in how much he's gain or how much he gave? Your homework for the week is to try to see things through Quran's eyes and maybe you'll see that your cousin isn't as bad as you paint him out to be, see you next week Jacobi." She said getting up and walking to the door.

After I left I went to get me something to eat and though my head was telling me that I should go home and chill with Jerell, I found myself driving around August's block a couple times. Thank God everyone was at work otherwise, someone would've called the police and told them that some black kid was riding around looking suspicious; on my fourth go-around I noticed August's front door open and he stepped out with a bag of trash.... I watched as he took the bag to the trash can then pause.... what the fuck was he doing? August looked directly at my car, smirked, then pulled his shorts and boxers off and walked in the house.

"One of these days you're going to get arrested for indecent exposure." I said shaking my head as I walked into his bedroom and looking around, though he had changed things around this room felt my safe place and vision of all the good times we've had in this room came rushing back to me; not just the sex but the quiet moment like when we would just lay in his bed watching movies and August's arms wrapped tightly around me.

"And one of these days you're going to stop being so damn scary and let me fuck you outside for the world to see...... and I'm not talking about in the car, I'm talking about on the street with a crowd of people watching." August said smirking a little. "How was counseling?" He asked removing his beater and walking over to the pull-up bar, I examined the tattoo of his last name written across his back and wondered how he sat there an let them but the entire name 'CUNNINGHAM' across his back without tapping out.

"It was coo..... Joy thinks I should try to see things from Quran's eyes.... whatever that means." I said walking him workout.

"I told you Joy was smart, your cousin is coo as fuck and the ONLY reason that you don't like him is because your mom doesn't like his mom. I've told you stay outta grown folks business and give that nigga a chance." August said. "I just had an idea.... why don't you call up the crew and we do like how we used to when we were younger."

"What, sit in my basement and jack off and make fun of the person who couldn't nut?" I asked and August started laughing.

"Nah, I'm talk about we all go to your house, order a bunch of food, watch movies, pull out 007 and just chill.... it's been a while since we all got together and just chilled with NO DRAMA." August said looking at me like I was the cause of the fights that usually took place.

"Aight I'll see what I can pull together, you know it's such short notice most of them niggas is probably busy.... and you know if I do this then you know I'll have to invite Jerell?" I said and August smirked.

"I promise I'll be good.... that nigga better not talk to me though." August said and I shook my head and sent out a text to my closest friends and boyfriend hoping that they didn't reply because I much rather chill here but of course, them bums didn't have shyt going on. "Looks like it's a date.... I gotta get my stuff together so I'll be over in a couple hours." August said leaning forward and kissing me. "Since I won't be able to do that for a while I gotta get it all out my system." While I stood there trying to fight all the feelings in my heart that was telling me to strip, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

"Wassup Jerell?" I asked walking away from August who I could feel rolling his eyes even though I couldn't see him.

"Jacobi where are you?" Jerell asked with an attitude.

"I'm leaving counseling.... damn why are you interrogating me?" I asked returning the attitude he was giving me.

"Because your stupid ass friend is up here at my job showing his natural black ass." Jerell said and I listened closely and heard someone that sounded a lot like Nazeer yelling in the background. "Apparently Lucci was fucking Nazeer and his cousin and they just found out about it..... I told you that nigga Lucci was a hoe and I knew I wasn't trippin when I thought he was checking you out." Jerell said but I quickly hung up, mumbled a quick excuse to August and ran out the house.... if I knew anything about Nazeer it was that when he got mad.....