Poems of Me

Illusion

12/7/14

Just another gram I

Mean what have I got to lose

Apart from my current dress size

It's really my choice to choose

I'd walk in my heels,

Swinging my hips

Thinkin' about how it feels

To have the perfect hips

So litter me with compliments

Say that I'm fine with my weight

It's the bad things said I won't forget

The bad things that made me hate

Me for who I am

Can't see me as perfect or thin

Can't even look at a another bloody Tim Tam

Because every time I eat it's just another sin

So go on, tell me I'm skin and bone

Take me to a restaurant, I won't eat

I'll just watch you eat then you'll take me home

And admit defeat

To a young girl who can barely control her thoughts

One who thinks she can control how she looks

When in reality, she's just lost

And what does this is the magazines and books

You can't take advertisements away from the youth

Can't make the problem disappear

If you want, block their eyes, hide the truth

They'll still eventually see it and fear

Wanting to fit in like the rest of the celebrities

"Correcting" their natural individuality

Matching themselves to the falsities

And creating a big catastrophe

Do you even know what it's like

To have to constantly do things you don't want to do

To be thin and constantly in a fight

Where you're worse off than the better part of another too

And I

Can't really say this

But I know that I'm sure

Every time that I'm around

You lock that goddamn door

Breaking the cycle I created

Torturing me back to insanity

And I'm just going to fake it,

The uncomfortable feeling that I get when I eat

And I swear

I won't be here long

I'll go back to hell

Because that's just where I belong

I know what I'm doing

Trust me when I say it's just to loose a few pounds

No more than a few I swear but I'm gonna go till it's all I'm viewing

This constant illusion that knows no bounds