All The Reasons Why ✔️

Letter Thirty-Five

Our tale is coming to an end, Tatiana. I don't know how many more of these letters I can bring myself to write to you, but I promise I won't stop writing them until I've given you all the answers to all the questions I can think of that you'd ask.

Truth: Jessica is a writer, like you. I think the reason I fell in love with her is that she's so much like you, but different all at the same time. She has all the qualities that you did that made us mesh so well, but none of the ones that helped us fall apart.

I'm mentioning that she's a writer because every day she'd hand write me poetic notes that reminded me that not everything was so bad, to replace the pills I think. I won't give you a specific quote because those were personal and I never gave let her read any of the ones you wrote for me. One of them said mentioned that not everything was so bad because the sun rose with us.

I know you better than I know myself, so I know that while you're reading this you're going to wonder what qualities of yours I'm referring to and if I'm saying that any of this was your fault. Let me start off by saying none of this is your fault. You did everything you could to fix us. And that's exactly why we fell apart. You tried to fix me, but I wasn't broken. I didn't need to be fixed, Tatiana. I needed to be saved from my own demons that were clawing their way to my soul.

You were always trying to fix everyone and everything. I loved you for that, I did. But if there's one thing you learn from all of this it's that you need to fix yourself before you can fix anyone else. That may sound harsh, but have you ever noticed that even when your heart has been crushed, you still manage to put all that aside to help someone else?

You can't bury everything for the sake of others, my love. It'll swallow you alive if you do.

Aidan