All The Reasons Why ✔️

Letter Thirty-Nine

I've been stalling, I know. I guess this is it. The climax of these letters. And the end of our relationship. The end of us.

I never understood why you hated telling anyone that your birthday was on Christmas. You lied to me when we met and told it was four days before your actual birthday. Our very first Christmas together though, your Aunt Maria slipped up. Told you happy birthday. I asked you about it. You told me the truth. That you hated having to share your birthday with a holiday because it didn't feel special that way. So your family celebrated it four days before your actual date.

When I came to your house on Christmas day to spend it with you and your family, it didn't feel the same as it did two years before. The magic was gone. Our magic was gone. That's why when you took me outside next to the tree where I realized I was in love with you, I broke your heart.

I looked down at you, at the smile on your face, the words I love you having just left your lips, and I knew. I had to end things between us. Because I didn't love you anymore. Well, I did. I'll always love you until the day that I die. But I wasn't in love with you. You deserve someone who loved you the way you loved them. I couldn't give you that.

I will always regret taking my hand out of yours and walking away. I will always regret leaving you there with tears running down your face. I will always regret not telling you the real reason why I was leaving. I should have never looked at you with ice in my eyes and told you that you weren't enough anymore. Because goddammit you were always enough for me, Tatiana. You were my whole world.

I promise I loved you. I promise I meant everything that I said and I promise i mean everything I'm saying now.

Truth: You will always be my first love and there is no one I would have rathered it be.

Aidan

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[a/n]: Just a little heads up, I've finished writing this story completely now. So after this update, there will be three more then we're all done!