study with me ✎ m.yg x p.jm

열하나

today was tuesday.

as much as i dreaded the weekday more than it deserved, i hated thursday just as much now. they were the days jimin and i agreed to meet on. two of the few days i was actually free on, now i only had three.

i had texted jimin earlier, asking if he was still coming after his temper tantrum yesterday. he replied saying he was, so i started getting ready. i don't entirely know why i felt like the house had to be clean, and i had to actually put effort into my appearance whenever he came over, it was probably my anxiety though.

after slightly tidying the house, giving up halfway then going to change out of my uniform, i went into jin's room to annoy him until jimin came over. jimin said he would be over around 6 today, and it was only 4:30, so i didn't have much else to do.

i pushed open jin's ajar door, to find his room empty. "jin?" i yell out, hoping he was somewhere here and hadn't left the house when i wasn't looking.

hearing no answer, i shook my head in boredom, and the only thing that came to mind by standing in jin's room is 'i'm nosy'. basically, i proceeded to snoop around my hyung's room.

after snooping around his room in depth a bit, and sifting through his collection of stuffed marios in the corner, i find a small pink book. bingo.

i threw myself onto his bed and made myself comfortable. i can't entirely imagine what he'd even need to have a diary for, he hasn't gone to school since 7th grade, he did all of his school work online, and, from what i know, didn't have any real life friends, just over the internet. only one of them was worth mentioning to me. this 'monnie' he talked about a lot.

i flipped open the book and started reading his extra neat handwriting.

'9/28/16
what the fuck, can someone be this cute over text? is it like, possible? i don't think so. he said he only got the game about 2 weeks ago, for his birthday. i asked him his birthday, of course, i am a smart guy after all, but he didn't want to tell me. :('

i gasped, realizing this was from a little over a year ago. i wonder if he still knows this guy? i flipped to more recent pages. i eventually found one from a few nights ago, noticing how his handwriting also evolved a bit over the past year.

'11/7/17
he still has my heart. never gonna tell him though :D yoongi's going to live his good life with his soon-to-be husband, jimin, and i'm gonna be here, forever alone, because my crush is too good for me. we've flirted a few times, but i'm still not at all sure if he gets my hints. they can't be too obvious or he'd know right away, but if they're too subtle it'll seem like i'm just being friendly. :(

i want to meet up with him really bad, and he seems to want to meet up too, but we haven't actually ever thought about it seriously. we both live in seoul, too! what's the chance? maybe i should really try and plan it out with him. i'll probably bring yoongi along though too, just to annoy him and show him his hyung can have a cute boyfriend too.

speaking of, i interrupted a sweet moment between yoongi and a cute kid and i feel bad. i could've let them be intimate, kiss a lot, then interrupt later from across the hall by yelling "use protection". actually, wait, no, i'm supposed to be the smart brother who doesn't let their dongsaeng do things like that. but on the other hand—'

before i can finish the entry, i hear the front door close. i panic and slam the diary shut, before shoving it under a bunch of marios. i straightened out his bed, making it look like i hadn't sat there for a good 15 minutes reading his thoughts that were supposed to be personal.

not even 10 seconds after i had began coming up with an excuse, he walked in, staring me down.

"what are you doing in here?"