study with me ✎ m.yg x p.jm

스물여섯

the week was going by in a blur to me. nothing was on my mind except jackson's threat. i could handle if the video was leaked, honestly. but i don't know if jimin would. i wouldn't give jimin up for anything, especially now. i considered telling jimin about the encounter, but how would i without jackson leaking the video?

it was thursday, so i was walking to jimin's so we could finish the packet. since my sudden exit on monday, i had been quiet and odd acting, to everyone. they all knew something was wrong, but i ignored them, even jimin. especially jimin.

i knocked on the door when i got there, my hands shaking at the thought of having to talk to someone with my thoughts hitting the panic button every chance they got. i thought i could tell jimin today, but how could i possibly tell jimin that jackson filmed him giving me a blowjob?

the door opening broke me out of my thoughts. "hi, hyung!" jimin said before pecking my lips, though i remained still and sad looking. i didn't have it in me to be enthusiastic. he pulled me inside, obviously annoyed.

"hyung, what's wrong? you've been like this all week and i'm worried!" he pouts.

"i'm sorry jimin, there's just been some stuff going on lately that's bad news on my part." i don't look at him as i say this, i couldn't. it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either.

"no..." he mumbled. he grabbed my chin and made me look up to his worried face studying my emotionless one.

"i don't think so hyung, and if that is the case, that's not all of it." he pushes, moving closer to me, our chests almost touching. him confronting me on my behavior made my mind race, a little too fast.

"j-jimin, i promise that's it." i looked at the wall behind him, i couldn't lie to his face. his sweet, undeserving, face.

"no, hyung, now i'm certain that's not it." he searches my eyes for answers, that i avoid giving to him. "it's something else..."

do i tell him?

"we'll talk about this later," he says like a parent. "but for right now let's work on the packet." he let's go of my face, looking at me sadly and disappointed before heading upstairs, me following after him.

we got to his room, and i could only think of what happened almost a week ago, and the video there was to prove it. i stood in the doorway, not caring how jimin was staring at me confusedly. i almost couldn't bring myself to move from my spot, until jimin called me over, out of my daze.

jimin had to get me up to speed on where he was most of the time, me falling behind because my thoughts were too overworked to think about anything science right now. he dropped his pencil in frustration, probably expecting me to look over but i didn't even flinch, which was weird because normally i would have.

"look, hyung." he says and i turn my head slowly, seeing his hand in his hair out of frustration. "i don't know what's going on with you, but you can tell me, please, trust me." his eyes are pleading, and i almost give in. almost.

i shake my head, convincing myself it's a bad idea. "no, jimin, i can't. i want to, but i can't. and i do trust you. more than almost anyone, but i can't tell you what's going on. not yet." i place my hand on his knee and squeeze it. "i love you..." i whisper, bringing my forehead to lean against his lightly.

"i love you too, hyung." he gives me a small smile and for the first time all week, i crack a real smile.

we slowly lean in and have our lips brush against each other, staying there, almost content. i initiate the kiss, leaning in just a centimeter more and closing my eyes. it was a soft and sweet kiss, with a mix of sadness. i broke it slowly, waiting a second to open my eyes and be brought back to reality. a shit reality, for the most part.