study with me ✎ m.yg x p.jm

스물

hi i want to try updating everyday so here u go :)

*freshman year*

"yoongi, are you listening to a word i'm saying?" the whole class was staring at me by now, some snickering or trying to hold back their laughs, not wanting to get in trouble. i stayed quiet. i couldn't just say no, that would be worse than no answer. saying yes would be an obvious lie.

she shook her head at me in disappointment and grabbed my hand. "you don't seem to get enough of this, young man."

you'd be surprised.

she laid the back of my hand out on the edge of my desk, the class' eyes glued to the scene unfolding, except mine, which were dazing out the window. the sharp sting of the ruler hitting my hand was unmistakable. i only flinched. the pain at home was much worse than this, this was like a vacation.

"pay attention." she walks back up to the board, not sparing a glance at me. the eyes were still mostly on me, some of the top-class kids eye's off of my figure, thank god.

throughout the day i got the regular slurs as i walked past some kids that had personal contact with the person who hated me most: kang seulgi. she was the first person to find out i was gay. we went to middle school together and never spoke a word to each other. until she found me being pinned by my now ex-boyfriend at the back of the school, tongues down each other's throats. it was one of the last weeks of being at that school, and it's when everything went downhill for me.

the time when everything around me shattered into pieces.

after she saw that, she told her friends. her friends told everybody. the teachers picked up on it, and called my parents. that's when their abusive nature started to take course. i had tried to come out to them that night, but they had already gotten the phone call. jin was suspicious and disagreed with my parents, so i decided to tell him. he was fine with it, even said he would buy me a pride flag. i declined. ever since literally everyone found out, she made sure i knew my place in the food chain. the bottom.

i was going to overthink, something i did regularly, like a hobby, until i felt something solid against my front. not a wall, but it honestly could've been. "watch where your going, bitch!"

i look at who it was. it was the transfer kid from busan, one who had been growing in popularity since his arrival, one who's name i barely knew. "s-sorry, jimin." i look anywhere but him once i realize who it was, and realize he had his friends with him.

"what's little faggy gonna do, huh? maybe i'll kick your dick so hard it won't even be able to go up another guy's ass." his friend, taehyung said. anybody who wasn't popular always talked about taehyung. not good things, just insulting his status and him as a person. he was a dick to anyone he didn't hang out with.

i stayed quiet, per usual.

"tae, come on, not worth it." he tried pulling his friend back, barely grasping the now fuming boy.

"whatever, i'll be sure to have my way with him next time." he makes sure to say to me as he gets tugged away, down the hall of staring and passing students, some whispering about me, thinking i don't know what their saying.

i walked out of the building and to the one across the courtyard, where the performing arts and music classes were. i walked in and passed the band room, hearing the horrid, unsynchronized sounds in the hallway. i fake shudder and continue down the hall to the piano room. my safe haven.

the teacher in there pulled me aside the day she found out and told me she would always be there for me, she was practically my friend. she gave me a hug and sent me on my way, not forgetting to give me her number for emergencies.