Thug-ish (Book 1)

29:White girl

Jamiyah

It is so hard to comprehend what the hell I'm suppose to be doing. I keep looking at the picture of me and Mallory, but I feel nothing. It's as if someone just photoshopped me into these pictures and this is one big prank.

But I know it's not a prank. I just have to accept the fact that I may never remember the past three years of my life. I keep thinking I'm eighteen still living with my parents and in high school, but now I have to remember that I'm twenty with a kid and my parents are in jail. My brothers are in jail and it's just me and David at the house now. Mainly, just me because he is always at a friend's house trying to avoid everything.

I knock on the door and Crystal opens it. She smiles and tells me where Malo and my son are at. Am I crazy for still claiming baby West as my son? I don't think so because even if I can't remember him being born or how he came to be, I saw the pictures of the gender reveal and the baby shower. I know he is mine.

I push the door open and see Malo sitting in a yellow chair, dangling a toy in front of our son's face. I smile brighter than I have in a long time as I look at the nursery.

"I love the lion king." I say.

Malo turns and smiles at me. "You designed this room." She sighs. "Well, the one at our house, but I had everything moved here."

"I always knew I had good taste."

"So what are you doing here?" She wonders.

"I thought I'd just stop by and see the baby. I've been thinking about him a lot."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," I nod "I always wanted to be a better mother than my mom, ya know? More understanding and shit and now I have that chance and I don't wanna mess it up just because I can't remember. I read that babies can hear you while they're in the belly and I'm sure he probably remembers my voice."

She nods and hands me the baby. "I'll be downstairs if you need me. He's probably hungry right now, so his bottles are in the mini fridge." She points to the mini fridge on the other side of the crib.

I grab a bottle and sit down in the yellow chair. I put the bottle in his mouth and his hands go straight to the sides as he attempts to hold it by himself. "You're smart, aren't you?" I ask him. "You're a smart baby."

We just stare into each other's eyes and now I'm really wondering if he remembers my voice. Maybe he remembers me because he seen me in the hospital or maybe he was just meant to be my son.

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Malo

This situation with Yaya is too much for me to handle. She wants to be there for my son, but not for me. Why not me? Why can't she just try to fall back in love with me?

What we had was so special and now it's just gone. It was just a waste. Almost two years together and this is how ends? I met her when she was young and now she'll be turning twenty one this year.

I remember the very first time I ever laid eyes on her. It was early June and I was kicking it with my brother when I saw this fine ass, thick girl arguing with some young boy.

Something in me was like "Yo, Malo you gotta approach her" so I did. I went right up to her and was like "is this boy bothering you?"

Yaya straight up looked me up and down and smiled. I was feeling so juiced because she didn't even hide the fact that she was feeling me.

"Nah, this just my little brother David." She sighed. "He just annoying."

I was relieved because I did not want her to have no boyfriend. David rolls his eyes at me and walks off. Yaya rolls her eyes at him and turns her attention back to me. "I'm Jamiyah, but everyone calls me Yaya."

"Nice to meet you Yaya, I'm Mallory, but you can call me Malo." I smirked at her.

That was way back in 2019. Yaya was just eighteen and I was twenty two. Now it's 2021 and nothing is the same. Nothing will ever be the same.

"Malo, are you okay?" Crystal asks, interrupting me from my thoughts.

"Yea, I was just thinking."

She sits on the couch next to me and grabs my hands. She runs tiny circles on the back of my hands with her thumbs. "If you need to talk, just talk to me. Keeping this stuff in isn't healthy."

I stare at her for a moment and she just stares back. I look down at her lips and when I look back at her eyes she is looking at my lips.

I lean my face towards hers and she meets me halfway. Our lips connect in a swift kiss before I shoot up from the couch.

"I can't do this." I tell her.

"I understand."

"It's just I still love Yaya." I admit.

"I know and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kisses you." She says.

"Yeah and you're super young and shit. Yaya was young enough." I inform her.

"I'm twenty one and you're twenty four. That's not a big difference." She says.

"And you're white."

She laughs and stands up from the couch. "Wow, I had no idea you were so racist Mallory."

"I'm sorry it's just my mama told me don't bring no white girl home." I say as I put my hands up in defense.

"Maybe if you stopped listening to Mama then you'd could hear something else." She says as she throws her arms over my shoulders.

"Like what?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

"My moans."

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Baby West

Crystal