one day | e.d

twenty five

it's hard to wait around for
something that might never happen, but what's even harder? it's harder to give up on something, when you know it's everything you want.

that's exactly what it felt like waiting for ethan to come to the bridge, i could hear my conscience screaming at me to give up. however, my heart told me no, even if it had been a week without him.

i had no clue where he was, what he were up to, or why he was staying so far away from me, but what i did know, was that i was lost without him. completely broken.

i nervously stepped onto the familiar front porch, my hand reaching up to knock gently on the door. i was shaking nervously, my heart beating faster and faster the more i waited.

i eventually built up the courage and knocked, the sound of birds chirping to be heard through the neighbourhood.
that was until the sound of footsteps on the inside of the home, was heard, followed by the unlocking of the door.

as soon as lisa opened the door and saw me stood behind it, her jaw dropped, her face one of pure shock. her skin had a lot more life, her cheeks a healthy rose colour, while her lips weren't as pale. she looked great.
" hi, lisa... is ethan home? "
when i asked this lisa gulped, her eyes looking anywhere but into mine, and down at the ground.

i found my eyes growing glossy as the lady looked back into her home, closing the door slightly, so that there were little i could see.
that was when she slightly shook her head, her own eyes turning teary as her bottom lip began to quiver.
" n-no, he's not "

i instantly looked down at my hands, fiddling with my fingers nervously, as i nodded my head.
" okay.. " i began, about to turn to walk away, until a sudden confidence within me arose.
" is he okay? "

lisa looked away once again, her eyes filled with guilt, and hurt. from the look she was giving me, i think i knew the answer to that question. no, he wasn't. he was far from okay, but so was i. i was on the verge of something bad, i knew i was.

" please, lisa... let me see him. i don't know what's going on- " i pleaded one last time, a tear dropping from my eye, landing on my cheek.
however, when the woman cut me off, her shaky hands beginning to close the door, i felt the small amount of hope i had left in me wash away like the river, under the bridge.
" i think it's best that you leave, molly.
i'm sorry "

lisa shut the front door, leaving me stood on
the small cobble path, alone.
it took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts before the endless amount of tears began falling from my eyes, my chest heaving up and down.

i felt as if i were being watched, and when i looked up to what i knew was ethan's bedroom window, i knew why. the pair of familiar hazel eyes watched me, clouded with tears, sadness, and guilt.
but as soon as his eyes locked with mine, the curtain was snatched in front of his face, leaving me to rush out of the drive.

i guess this really was it.
for real, this time.

i sniffled as i entered the large house, walking up the stairs with red and blotchy cheeks.

it was rather silent in the house, besides the sound of my heavy breathing, and it surprised me that i didn't hear annie's voice echoing throughout the home.
i shrugged it off, my mind being swallowed up by one thought, and one person.
ethan.
it had only been a week, but he was gone.
he was out of my reach, and i missed him like crazy.