one day | e.d

twenty six

i didn't think before i'd pulled open my bedroom door, slamming it behind me angrily. sobs escaped my lips as i clutched ethan's small box tightly in my arms, rushing down the stairs. my footsteps must have been loud and aggressive, as my parents appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, their eyes wide and their nostrils flared.

" nadine! what is wrong with you? "
the cruel lady spat, placing her hand on her hip.
my father copied her actions, instead folding his arms against his chest, staring at me blankly.
they were acting as if they didn't know. as if they didn't know that they'd broke my heart for good, this time.
" w-why? "
this was the only thing i managed to get out, my breathing heavy as i wiped under my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie. ethan's, hoodie.

my parents watched me, their eyebrows raised, and their noses scrunched up in disgust.
" why what, nadi- "
" why did you do it?!? " i suddenly screamed, startling the two of them as they slightly jumped back, all because of my sudden raise of voice.

they knew exactly what i was talking about, i could see it in their eyes.
and the thing is, not one part of them, felt guilty.

they'd used a kind and innocent woman's heath problem, as a way of bribing her son. it was sickening, and i was in disbelief.

" i said, why did you do this?!? "
i almost surprised myself by my sudden burst of confidence, but not one part of me regretted it. i'd been holding this in for so long, and i wasn't scared anymore. ethan had given me that confidence.
" nadine! how dare you say- "

i cut my mother off by stepping towards her, my chest heaving up and down as my eyes clouded with hatred, and hers suddenly grew glossy with fear.
" how dare you, mother " i snarled, my words
making her remain silent.

i let out a short laugh of disbelief as another tear dropped from my eye, and i sniffled.
" mother. you're not my fucking mother "
when i said this her eyes went wide, and her foot stomped against the ground pathetically, like a child who was denied a toy in the store.

" you're a horrible, selfish, snobby bitch, who deserves everything coming her way. i'm not marrying daniel, i'm not staying here, and i'm done associating myself with the surname addereley! " i yelled, a cry leaving my lips as i spoke.
" nadine- "
" that surname is the only embarrassment here, elizabeth "

i could feel the anger radiating off of my mother's body when i said this, her lips agape, and her face one of shock. that was until she finally spoke up, and a smirk was now daring to grow on her lips.
" i hope you know that annie is no longer with us, nadine "

as soon as annie's name rolled off of her tongue i felt my heart drop, my eyes growing glossy once more when i processed what she had just said. annie wasn't with us?
" w-what? " i stuttered nervously, all of my confidence washing away.
" we fired her. the two of you shared an inappropriate and unprofessional relationship. and just like your little boyfriend, she's never to contact you again "

every final piece of hope was crushed, and i was all alone. everyone i had, everyone that cared about me, and that got me through this mess, was gone. i was the only one left.

maybe it was my time to go now, too.

" goodbye, mother "
was the last thing i said as i pushed past her, slamming the front door behind me.

i found myself running down the pathway as tears began streaming down my cheeks, my heart racing, and my hands shaking.
i couldn't take the pain anymore, i didn't want to feel it. because without ethan, the pain was all i could feel.

so where did i go?
i went to the bridge.