everlong

heroin

Hey guys. So I forgot to publish this a while back. This chapter is supposed to come after "bum"

"You look so pretty!" Courtney cheered as I slid into the back seat of her and Kurts car. I blushed. "So do you guys." I said, returning the compliment. We then started driving.

I rolled down my window, the city breeze blowing my hair. The cool wind felt euphoric on my skin. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling.

The ride to Steve Albinis house was a short one. When we arrived, I mentally prepared myself. I felt so uneasy and upset about being at the party. I felt like a teenager again, sneaking out to my first rager.

But I'm a grown woman.

My heels clicked against the pebbles as I made my way up the the door. Kurt and Courtney trailed behind me. I raised my fist, knocking on the red door.

"Julia!" Steve said, the door swinging open. I put on a smile and gave him a warm hug. "How have you been?" He asked me, taking a sip of his drink. "I've been ok. How about you?" I answered. "Same old." He said.

I chuckled.

"I'll see you around." I said. He nodded, moving on to greet Kurt and Courtney. I wandered off into the kitchen to get a drink. It was buzzing with social activity. I made my way through the crowd and to the liquor cabinet. I got some Cognac and poured it in a short glass.

My eyes danced around the room, scanning faces. I saw people I recognized and had talked to before and known, and some I had never seen in my years here.

I took a long sip of Cognac.

I felt so out of place. I remember the old Julia. She'd go out to the beach with her lover, she'd go out with friends.

She had a lust for life.

But the new Julia, she stays indoors and works too much. She doesn't go out with the people she loves.

She doesn't even have her lover anymore.

I chugged the rest of my drink, then put the glass down. I made my way up the steps, and into Steves bathroom. The sight before me was a horrifying one. Kurt and Courtney were on the bathroom floor, high on heroin.

"Want some?" Courtney slurred, holding out a syringe to me. Kurt grabbed her arm sluggishly. "You can't get her back on it." He ordered. "She's a grown woman, just like us. She can make her own decisions." She hissed to him, yanking her arm away.

My eyes were wide like two planets. The drug is a killer, but the memories came to my mind. I thought about how free I felt on the drug. All the fear and depression of my life simply vanished into thin air.

"Y-yeah." I stuttered, shakily sitting down. Kurt looked at me sadly. I held my arm out. "You're sure, right?" Courtney asked, her bloodshot eyes squinting at me. I nodded.

I felt nauseated. Right as I was about to escape to heaven, the door swung open. Dave looked totally serene before seeing the three of us on the ground, but his eyes popped.

"What the fuck!?" He hissed, bending down and pushing Courtney away. "What the fuck are you two thinking? You can live this lifestyle for all I care, but you don't need to get Julia involved." He spat, scooping me up.

I'm not sure why I trusted him enough to carry me away.

People looked bewildered as he whisked me away. I caught a burning gaze from Rosies blue eyes.

Dave ignored it.

He gently dropped me into the front seat of his car. I felt tears welling up in my eyes as he walked over to the driver seat. He drove me home in silence. Tears fell down my face.

I leaned my head on the window, burying my face in my hands. Dave was breathing heavily beside me. He was fuming angry. I'm not sure if he was infuriated with me, or Kurt and Courtney. Maybe both.

"Can you give me directions to your place?" He asked once we were on the freeway. I wiped my eyes and muttered the directions. "Im not mad at you." He whispered, as if he read my mind. He basically can.

I didn't respond.

He parked the car, then got out of it. I trailed behind him into my apartment. Its like he's still my protector, despite him being the one who harmed me the worst.

I handed him my keys. He then let us inside. He stopped in the door way, his eyes wandering around the place I call home. He then continued through the apartment, inspecting it.

"I like it." He said quietly. I sniffled. He then turned to me, smiling sadly. I haven't seen him since that day at the beach. "Why would you even think about doing that, Julia?" He asked.

My chin quivered as I started to cry again. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. I covered my face, not wanting him to see my cry.

Daves P.O.V
Her muffled sobs broke my heart. She looks like a sad porcelain doll. She's so frail and skinny, even skinnier than when I saw her at the beach. Her eyes are dark and cold, black circles underneath them.

"Jules." I said softly, removing her arms from her beautiful, angelic face. Tears were still gushing out of her eyes. I tried to wipe them away, but the water just kept on flowing.

"I'm just so sad. I need something to help." She mumbled, trying to calm down. I ached so badly for her. "C'mon." I whispered, taking her hand, leading her into her own room.

Looking at her apartment made me sorrowful. Its a nice place, clean and organized, signs of her interests all over, but we didn't share it.

At the same time, I'm happy sharing an apartment with Rosie.

She flopped down onto her bed. I sat on the end, wiping sweat off of my forehead. "Why's it so hot? Should I turn on the A.C?" I asked her, pulling her heels off at the same time.

"Its broken." She replied, sliding her dress off. I frowned. "You can't stay here, Jules. You'll have a fuckin heat stroke!" I hissed. She rolled her eyes. "I can take care of myself." She argued, crossing her thin arms.

I scoffed. "You were left alone for a couple minutes and you nearly got hooked onto heroin." Guilt piled in my stomach like bricks once the harsh words slipped past my lips.

Her mouth was hanging open for a few seconds, before she snapped back. "I've been all alone since you cheated on me! I've been all by my fucking self Dave, and have I done anything? No!" She yelled, jabbing her pointer finger at me. I hung my head.

She was panting heavily, her chest rising and falling. She then laid back down. I carefully crawled up next to her. "What?" She snapped at me. I frowned. "Im so sorry, Jules, for all I've done to you." I whispered.

I noticed tears falling down her face.

"I just wish I didn't have to feel anymore. I'm so tired of living." Her words instilled panic and fright into me. "Julia, don't fucking say that." I growled lowly, putting my arms around her.

I was shaking from fear. Hearing her say things like that...it puts me on edge. She remained stiff and rigid as I tried to hug her thin, soulless body.

"I wish you hadn't broken me beyond repair."

I sighed.

"I wish I hadn't either."